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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The plan below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time.

#plan #show #ground #floor #time
The map shows plans of how the ground
floor
 of a building has changed from 1958 to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
. In 1958, the building was used as an office and now it has changed into a flower shop, it had
also
 been an apartment
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1985 to 2000. Through the two transformations, only the kitchen and corridor that connects the left and right
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of the
floor
 stayed consistent in size and location. The
floor
 had started with 7
rooms
 in 1958 to fit an office. The
rooms
 that were first made
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 relatively small as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 had to fit an office.
Then
, it was transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a
5 room
Add a hyphen
5-room
show examples
floor
 to accommodate an apartment in 1985. Most of the
rooms
 made in the 1985 transformation were relatively bigger than the
rooms
 in 1958.
Then
 in 2001, it was transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a more open area. Only 4
rooms
 are now present and the main corridor was connected to an open space for flowers.
Submitted by wishingipass on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the context, while the conclusion should summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
Connect your ideas clearly with appropriate use of linking words and paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
Expand upon the main points with further explanation or specific examples where applicable to demonstrate clear understanding.
task achievement
Give a full response to all parts of the task, demonstrating an understanding of the changes over time with accurate comparisons.
task achievement
Organize your ideas clearly and logically, making sure they directly relate to the changes presented in the maps.
task achievement
Include specific examples from the map plans to support your descriptions of the changes, thus demonstrating attention to detail.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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