Many schools today require students to work without pay for companies as part of their education. Is this more advantageous to students or companies?
As a part of education, most
of
schools want Change preposition
apply
students
to work
for companies
without any pay. This
work
is refered
Correct your spelling
referred
as
voluntary Change preposition
to as
work
as the students
will not get paid for this
work
. In my opinion, it will be beneficial for the companies
in regard to the students
.
To begin
with, companies
get benefits when the students
work
for them without any pay. The first benefit
of this
development is financial benefits. Companies
does
not need to hire Change the verb form
do
much
workers for their daily tasks. Change the quantifier
many
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
students
have some knowlege
which Correct your spelling
knowledge
companies
them for their own purposes. However
, this
will not give any benefit
to students
as the students
choose different
career path after graduation. Add an article
a different
For instance
, if school
wants children to join grocery Add an article
the school
a school
companies
as part of the circular activity. This
would not benefit
the pupils.
Moreover
, the companies
save their time in completing the tasks. If alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
students
join the company
they would able
to complete the tasks in Add a missing verb
be able
short
span of time. Add an article
a short
In contrast
to daily workers company
have to pay zero money to Fix the agreement mistake
companies
students
for their work
. Even though,
they will Remove the comma
apply
benefit
the company
in many aspects, but
it is Correct word choice
apply
Correct article usage
a wastage
wastage
of time for Replace the word
waste
students
.
So in my opinion students
who are doing voluntary work
as part of education is
not good for their career. Even though, there are benefits to Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Correct article usage
the company
company
Correct article usage
the company
but
Correct word choice
apply
students
have only drawbacks Change preposition
to
for
Change preposition
to
this
system.Submitted by Dharmveer singh on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are both critical components of a cohesive piece of writing. Make sure to open with a clear thesis statement that briefly outlines your viewpoints and conclude with a summarizing paragraph that restates your main points and opinion.
coherence cohesion
There are numerous grammatical errors that detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Consider proofreading your work carefully to correct these mistakes and ensure that your writing flows smoothly.
task achievement
Your arguments appear to be one-sided and are not fully developed. The question asks you to discuss the advantages for both students and companies, and a balanced discussion weighing both sides would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Concrete examples and evidence are lacking in your arguments, which would help make your case more convincing. Specific examples or data could significantly enhance your essay's impact.
task achievement
It's crucial to fully understand the task and respond accordingly. The essay should comprehensively explore the advantages for both students and companies, as the prompt suggests. Failure to do so results in an incomplete response to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.