Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?
Currently, there are rising number of people with health issues choosing
alternative
medicines and treatments instead
of consulting to
doctors. Change preposition
apply
This
trend could become an unprecedented situation as alternatives
Change the noun form
alternative
medications
have not gone through proper medical trials.
Alternative
medications
often use methods
and consumption of medicines that are yet to be acknowledged in medical society. This
is often due to
the lack of research conducted toward
those subjects or the existence of Change preposition
on
a
research that proves that those Remove the article
apply
method
are not effective. Take cupping Change the determiner
methods
for example
, it extracts blood through your skin and said
to have the ability to remove toxins from your body. Add a missing verb
is said
While
it might have the ability mentioned, there are other methods
that are more clinically-proven
and Correct your spelling
clinically proven
involves
less invasive actions. Change the verb form
involve
Same
Correct article usage
The same
does apply
Wrong verb form
applies
with
herbal Change preposition
to
medications
that often being taken as an
Correct article usage
apply
alternatives treatment
, it has been proven to have Fix the agreement mistake
alternative treatments
a
medical benefits, but Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
becomes
insignificant when compared to other standardized pharmaceuticals.
Doing Correct subject-verb agreement
become
alternative
treatment can also
cause unprecedented risks. Alternatives that are said to be more effective than the
regular Correct article usage
apply
medications
might involve the use of substances or methods
that are deemed dangerous in medical
world. It Add an article
the medical
become
worse when Change the verb form
becomes
this
method have
not been through any medical trials, unknown Change the verb form
has
side-effects
might appear following the treatment. Correct your spelling
side effects
Not to mention
, the lack of medical skills of those
Change the determiner
that alternative practitioner
those alternative practitioners
alternative
practitioner could impose additional risks.
In short, alternative
treatments or medications
should be taken carefully. It might not have the effectiveness of regular methods
or the risks might outweigh the benefits. Nevertheless
, if an alternative
is proven to be effective and safe through proper clinical trials the doctors will recommend it. Thus
, consulting to
a doctor will be the best Change preposition
apply
actions
to solve your health issues.Fix the agreement mistake
action
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure. Consider using more cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs, creating a smoother flow of information that logically progresses from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure that you address the prompt fully. In this case, you need to present a more balanced discussion on whether using alternative medicines and treatments is a positive or negative development before reaching a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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