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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
Currently, there are rising number of people with health issues choosing
alternative
 medicines and treatments
instead
 of consulting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doctors.
This
 trend could become an unprecedented situation as
alternatives
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alternative
show examples
medications
 have not gone through proper medical trials.
Alternative
medications
 often use
methods
 and consumption of medicines that are yet to be acknowledged in medical society.
This
 is often
due to
 the lack of research conducted
toward
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on
show examples
 those subjects or the existence of
a
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apply
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research that proves that those
method
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methods
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 are not effective. Take cupping
for example
, it extracts blood through your skin and
said
Add a missing verb
is said
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 to have the ability to remove toxins from your body.
While
 it might have the ability mentioned, there are other
methods
 that are more
clinically-proven
Correct your spelling
clinically proven
show examples
 and
involves
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involve
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 less invasive actions.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
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does apply
Wrong verb form
applies
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with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 herbal
medications
 that often being taken as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternatives treatment
Fix the agreement mistake
alternative treatments
show examples
, it has been proven to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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medical benefits, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 insignificant when compared to other standardized pharmaceuticals. Doing
alternative
 treatment can
also
 cause unprecedented risks. Alternatives that are said to be more effective than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular
medications
 might involve the use of substances or
methods
 that are deemed dangerous in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
 world. It
become
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becomes
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 worse when
this
 method
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 not been through any medical trials, unknown
side-effects
Correct your spelling
side effects
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 might appear following the treatment.
Not to mention
, the lack of medical skills of
those
Change the determiner
that alternative practitioner
those alternative practitioners
show examples
alternative
 practitioner could impose additional risks. In short,
alternative
 treatments or
medications
 should be taken carefully. It might not have the effectiveness of regular
methods
 or the risks might outweigh the benefits.
Nevertheless
, if an
alternative
 is proven to be effective and safe through proper clinical trials the doctors will recommend it.
Thus
, consulting
to
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apply
show examples
a doctor will be the best
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 to solve your health issues.
Submitted by faiq.gitu on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure. Consider using more cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs, creating a smoother flow of information that logically progresses from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure that you address the prompt fully. In this case, you need to present a more balanced discussion on whether using alternative medicines and treatments is a positive or negative development before reaching a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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