Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Recent research shows popular events like the football
World
Cup are no longer seen as an international sporting occasion but also
are essential in easing international emotions in a safe way. Additionally
, it is certain that there will be a significant and increasing number of people from all over the world
in this
thought that they try to show their tensions at the stadiums both abroad and locally. This
may be a result of immigration and a lack of communication, especially in Europe. Throughout this
article, I will try to give my accurate agreement on this
subject and provide examples to elaborate on the details of this
phenomenon.
Firstly
, over the past five years, I must state that patriotism has dramatically changed due to
the widespread use of the internet and refugees. Consequently
, most Europeans face the problem that millions of people leave their own houses and come to Europe suddenly. Therefore
, individuals show their different sides at the stadiums to express their emotions to the rest of the world
. As a result
of this
, I would say that we can see plenty of groups which shout and support their team's incredible ways.
Moreover
, the supporters today do not communicate with each other on normal topics as much as they used to. Therefore
many people feel stress in their daily lives so they wait to discharge their stress at the stadiums. In other words
, those who decided to show their patriotism may want to compare themselves to other nations. All in all, in my opinion, this
can be very useful, and if you use these energies in a better way, the community also
gets good results from it.
In conclusion, the
countries must manage these tensions to investigate how to increase them day by day; Correct article usage
apply
otherwise
, it affects
most Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
of
things badly. It is crucial to explore various methods to handle Change preposition
apply
this
situation. It must not be forgotten that patriotism is like a knife so we have to control these thoughts. I believe that,
events like the Remove the comma
apply
World
Cup are very positive for our lives so everyone has to support and attempt these kinds of programs.Submitted by salihzekikoni on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure. Consider structuring your essay into an introduction, at least two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should present one main idea with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and conclusion, which is positive. However, make sure that the introduction clearly presents your position on the topic and that the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The supporting points in your main body paragraphs are somewhat relevant, but they are not fully developed. Provide more specific examples and clearer explanations to support your arguments.
task achievement
Your response to the task at hand is somewhat adequate, but you could be more specific. Focus on clearly addressing the topic by discussing how international sporting events can ease international tensions and release patriotic emotions. Offer clear responses to the prompt.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear to understand but need to be expressed more comprehensively. Strive for clarity by using simpler sentence structures and ensuring that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
The examples you've provided are related to the topic, but they're not very specific or fully explained. Incorporate more detailed examples and make sure they directly support your main points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example