Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#events #football #world #cup #occasions #tensions #emotions

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Recent research shows popular events like the football

World

Use synonyms

Cup are no longer seen as an international sporting occasion but

also

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are essential in easing international emotions in a safe way.

Additionally

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, it is certain that there will be a significant and increasing number of people from all over the

world

Use synonyms

this

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thought that they try to show their tensions at the stadiums both abroad and locally.

This

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may be a result of immigration and a lack of communication, especially in Europe. Throughout

this

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article, I will try to give my accurate agreement on

this

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subject and provide examples to elaborate on the details of

this

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phenomenon.

Firstly

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, over the past five years, I must state that patriotism has dramatically changed

due to

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the widespread use of the internet and refugees.

Consequently

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, most Europeans face the problem that millions of people leave their own houses and come to Europe suddenly.

Therefore

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, individuals show their different sides at the stadiums to express their emotions to the rest of the

world

Use synonyms

As a result

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this

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, I would say that we can see plenty of groups which shout and support their team's incredible ways.

Moreover

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, the supporters today do not communicate with each other on normal topics as much as they used to.

Therefore

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many people feel stress in their daily lives so they wait to discharge their stress at the stadiums.

In other words

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, those who decided to show their patriotism may want to compare themselves to other nations. All in all, in my opinion,

this

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can be very useful, and if you use these energies in a better way, the community

also

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gets good results from it. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

countries must manage these tensions to investigate how to increase them day by day;

otherwise

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, it

affects

Correct subject-verb agreement

affect

show examples

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

things badly. It is crucial to explore various methods to handle

this

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situation. It must not be forgotten that patriotism is like a knife so we have to control these thoughts. I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

events like the

World

Use synonyms

Cup are very positive for our lives so everyone has to support and attempt these kinds of programs.

Submitted by salihzekikoni on Tue Jan 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear logical structure. Consider structuring your essay into an introduction, at least two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should present one main idea with supporting details.

coherence cohesion

You've included an introduction and conclusion, which is positive. However, make sure that the introduction clearly presents your position on the topic and that the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

coherence cohesion

The supporting points in your main body paragraphs are somewhat relevant, but they are not fully developed. Provide more specific examples and clearer explanations to support your arguments.

task achievement

Your response to the task at hand is somewhat adequate, but you could be more specific. Focus on clearly addressing the topic by discussing how international sporting events can ease international tensions and release patriotic emotions. Offer clear responses to the prompt.

task achievement

Your ideas are somewhat clear to understand but need to be expressed more comprehensively. Strive for clarity by using simpler sentence structures and ensuring that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.

task achievement

The examples you've provided are related to the topic, but they're not very specific or fully explained. Incorporate more detailed examples and make sure they directly support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a coutry. Discuss both views

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

Nowadays, learning have gained in popularity but some people argue that courses can never be as good as those taken by attending a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Economic growth is one way to measure a country’s success, but what else should we look at? Which do you think is the most important?