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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart bellow shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart bellow shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#bellow #results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The given chart depicts the percentage of residents buying and drinking habits of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in five
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adelaine
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
, Hobart).
Overall
Linking Words
, all the respondents in all
cities
Use synonyms
 have mainly gone to a café in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks,
while
Linking Words
 the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 that bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the lowest percentage from all categories in all five
cities
Use synonyms
.
Three
Correct article usage
The three
show examples
 most dominant
people
Use synonyms
 went
café
Change preposition
to café
show examples
 from the highest areas
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Melbourne, Hobarts and Sydney, respectively. In 4 weeks, café preference was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher than the one who bought
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne,
while
Linking Words
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 stood at
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 less than 50%. In Hobart, there is a significant percentage of each category
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going to a cafe,
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
, and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 with more than 60%, below 55% and less than 40% respectively.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 in Sydney who prefer drinking in the cafe reach over 60%,
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 only around 45%.
Next,
Linking Words
there are two
cities
Use synonyms
 where the survey of
people
Use synonyms
 who went to café and bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 did not fall behind
while
Linking Words
 both of them bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 and did not reach 35%.
People
Use synonyms
 who went to café are over 55% and just below 50%, others who choose
coffee
Use synonyms
 instantly are close enough with only around 3% and 0.5% difference for Brisbane and
Adelaine
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
, respectively.
Submitted by claudideborah on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, café, people, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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