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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays as a part of education process students work at our company for short period of time without pay do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

#part #education #process #students #work #company #period #time #outweigh
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In the modern world, the
internship
 program is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
method
 for many university
students
.
This
method
 can encourage
students
learn
Add the particle
to learn
show examples
 new things.
However
,some people suggest that trainees should get
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 from companies.
This
 choice has a number of benefits and drawbacks, which will be discussed in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with,one of the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
internship
Change preposition
of internship
show examples
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 is improve skills and knowledge
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 workplaces.
For example
,
students
 can participate
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
actual
Add an article
the actual
show examples
 workplace.When they join
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 group of work that can improve social abilities
such
 as socializing,
teamwork
Correct word choice
and teamwork
show examples
.
Moreover
,
this
method
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 experience for many
students
 and that
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
 to
future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 of many
students
.
Thus
,
this
method
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 for university
students
 because can inspire
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 choose
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
career
 or teach them
know
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the culture of
industrial
Replace the word
the industry
show examples
.In some
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 that
resulting
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
faculty
Change preposition
of faculty
show examples
 or
change
Verb problem
apply
show examples
future
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some people argue that
internship
Correct article usage
an internship
show examples
 is not
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 investigate
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
career
.ฺBy the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in the
future
 many
students
 will change
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 first job to increase
income
Correct pronoun usage
their income
show examples
.
Also
 in some
companies
Add a comma
companies,
show examples
 they
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not spend the budget
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 hire
trainee
Fix the agreement mistake
trainees
show examples
.Because they think that
students
 still
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
 abilities.
Furthermore
,some
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 believe that
internship
Fix the agreement mistake
internships
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not effective for search
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
career
 path. In conclusion,it is undeniable that a lot of
university
Change to a plural noun
universities
show examples
 believe
to establish
Change preposition
in establishing
show examples
internship
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improve
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
 and knowledge of
students
. Because they think that it is
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 activity
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 develop
students
 for
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.I strongly believe
this
 trend because of
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 advantages,which is
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to the correct way.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the essay's position, whether it argues for the advantages or against the disadvantages. The conclusion should also clearly summarize the main points and restate the essay's position.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically and use paragraphs effectively, each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well-developed with supporting sentences.
task achievement
Expand on main points with relevant and specific examples to illustrate the arguments and enhance the essay's persuasiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Internship
  • Unpaid work
  • Vocational training
  • Skill acquisition
  • Professional network
  • Workplace dynamics
  • Exploitation
  • Labor laws
  • Career development
  • Corporate responsibility
What to do next:
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