the table below shows the worldwide market share of the notebook computer market for manufactures in the tears 2006 and 2007

IELTS Writing Task Chart for the table below shows the worldwide market share of the notebook computer market for manufactures in the tears 2006 and 2007

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The table given illustrates how much the notebook computer’s

market

Use synonyms

for seven manufacturers between 2006 and 2007, measured by percentage.

Overall

Linking Words

, HP commended the

market

Use synonyms

over the period,

while

Linking Words

Fujitsu-Siemens did the reverse.

Initially

Linking Words

, only HP had a

market

Use synonyms

of over a quarter,

while

Linking Words

others had below.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there was a small percentage which was under about 7% occupied by Toshiba, Lenovo, and Fujitsu-Siemens. Eventually, the others category occupied the second stage in the first period at 22.8%, but in the following years decreased to 19.3%, being the third level.

However

Linking Words

, Fujitsu-Siemens had a negative experience in 2007 decreasing by 2.5%, taking the lowest proportion.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the rate

market

Use synonyms

of HP and Dell climbed to 34% and 20.2%, respectively.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, Acer decreased slightly at a small rate, but it had a higher proportion than Toshiba and Lenovo did in which they had 7.3% for the former and 6.2 (%) for the latter.

misstiasclassroomWed Jan 17 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words market, share with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

156 words

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the table below shows the worldwide market share of the notebook computer market for manufactures in the tears 2006 and 2007

Juvenile deliquency is on rise today. in our modern times , more and more adolescents are commiting crime. what are the possible reasons? is there any solution to this problem?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?