IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#students #focus #classroom #show #status #clothes #thebefore #school #uniforms
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There is a debatable statement on whether or not
students
 have to be obliged to wear uniforms in school so that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 focus more on studying
instead
 of showing off their fancy clothes. I strongly
aggree
Correct your spelling
agree
 that pupils need to wear uniforms and would like to explain the reasons in
this
 essay.
Im
Correct your spelling
In
 general, the essence of school is for getting knowledge and degrees. It is not a place to show
students
' social status.
Besides
, giving
students
 options to decide what attire
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they could wear will
give
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 them
confusions
Fix the agreement mistake
confusion
show examples
.
For instance
, I used to
feel
Verb problem
find it
show examples
 difficult to decide what kind of clothes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I had to wear back in college because there were
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
show examples
 of options.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 I would be late because I could not decide to dress up any faster.
Therefore
 we need to oblige the kind of uniforms that pupils should wear. There are various benefits of wearing the same uniform for
students
.
Firstly
, rich and poor
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
 could blend. It has been a public secret that rich kids tend to have better fashion compared to unfortunate
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Moreover
, children from
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
 families could still utilize the old clothes so that they would not need to spend money and save more.
To conclude
, wearing
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 should be an obligation at school because it would
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 more good than harm.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, with distinct paragraphs and clear topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to enhance clarity and avoid repetitiveness.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples, illustrations, or data, where possible.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task given, expressing a clear position and making that position known from the beginning.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas, explaining them comprehensively, and showing the reader the reasoning behind your statements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic focus
  • fashion trends
  • peer pressure
  • social class disparities
  • disciplinary environment
  • cost-effective
  • school identity
  • sense of belonging
  • individual expression
  • dress codes
  • professional attire
  • body types
  • school spirit
  • creativity suppression
  • equal footing
What to do next:
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