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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do people learn more from losing than from winning? Do you agree or disagree whit this statement

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With the ever-increasing number of
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people
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people,
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 there are many different arguments and
debateable
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debatable
 of win and lose. The widely hot debate is between
people
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 who are successful and failures. Undoubtedly,
people
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 need to experience
failure
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 before
success
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.
In other words
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, we need to use loss to get
success
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. In view of the social
perspectives
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, I strongly believe that we need to use
failure
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 to win a whole
success
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.
To begin
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 with, the main
initiatives
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initiative
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 of getting lost is
about
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that
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failure
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 is a necessary step for
success
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. It is because a successful person needs to have the spirit of experiments,
tests
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and tests
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, just known as the technician or scientists to check the issues from time to time. It is no exaggeration to say that
failure
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 not only lets you understand the basic fundamentals of the issues or
understanding
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understand
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 relevant
perspectives
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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 builds up a growth mindset. It is widely acknowledged that
the
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apply
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failure
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 is not fear but luck and having
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a chances
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chances
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chance
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 of encountering issues
from
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apply
show examples
.
For instance
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, Lee Ka Shing is a rich and wealthy businessman in Hong Kong who failed to inject venture capital. Still, he
got
Verb problem
was
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 successful after numerous choices for a trial.
Then
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, the following initiatives of getting lost
is
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are
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 about learning from others and
enriches
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enriching
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 new understanding and
perspectives
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.
For example
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,
according to
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the
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apply
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professor Luk Tai Lok,
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a sociologists
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sociologists
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sociologist
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 who graduated from HKU and taught
in
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at
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 EDUHK, he claimed that no
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people not got
Verb problem
person has
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the
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a
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 future in one of life's aspects.
For instance
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, being an undergraduate school student, academic criteria and
result
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results
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is
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are
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one
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some
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 of the
most
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biggest
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 concerns
in
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of
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the
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apply
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students, who always
mentioned
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mention
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about
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apply
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getting or fighting with
A+
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an A+
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 or A grade, more extreme
grade
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grades
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is
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are
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 relevant.
However
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, still, majority
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people
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of people
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 may
get
Rephrase
still get
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B
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a B
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grade in the prior assignment or assessment. But, learning from others and past experience can change the results of others' assignments afterwards.
Therefore
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, there is no doubt that
failure
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 is a core value. It just depends on the
people
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's personal judgment but we can accept it because
people
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 may have the
chances
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chance
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 to make progress and improvement. The more experience you obtain, the more chances of learning and understanding new
perspectives
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people
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 may have.
To conclude
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, it is concluded that no matter the academic aspects of becoming a successful person in an academic field one may need to encounter the process of
failure
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 to be successful. From my personal view,
therefore
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, it is more advisable for
people
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 to receive the
failure
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 education with
learning
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the learning
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 process of
failure
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 experimentally and theoretically so that
people
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 can have more
self-disciplines
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self-discipline
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 and improve continuously.

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay fails to provide a clear logical structure. It starts with a confused premise and the development of points is disjointed. The lack of logical connectors and clear progression of ideas makes the text difficult to follow. To improve coherence, consider planning your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single point, and a conclusion that summarizes your argument. Use cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in conclusion', to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Task Achievement
While you addressed the essay topic, your response was not entirely clear and comprehensive. The task was to discuss whether people learn more from losing than from winning, and to provide your viewpoint. Your essay veers into discussing the necessity of failure for success rather than comparing learning from losing with learning from winning. To address the task more effectively, ensure your essay directly responds to the question by examining both aspects (winning and losing) and providing clear examples to support your arguments. State your position clearly in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Make sure your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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