Do people learn more from losing than from winning? Do you agree or disagree whit this statement
With the ever-increasing number of
people
there are many different arguments and Add a comma
people,
debateable
of win and lose. The widely hot debate is between Correct your spelling
debatable
people
who are successful and failures. Undoubtedly, people
need to experience failure
before success
. In other words
, we need to use loss to get success
. In view of the social perspectives
, I strongly believe that we need to use failure
to win a whole success
.
To begin
with, the main initiatives
of getting lost is Fix the agreement mistake
initiative
about
Change preposition
that
failure
is a necessary step for success
. It is because a successful person needs to have the spirit of experiments, tests
, just known as the technician or scientists to check the issues from time to time. It is no exaggeration to say that Correct word choice
and tests
failure
not only lets you understand the basic fundamentals of the issues or understanding
relevant Wrong verb form
understand
perspectives
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
builds up a growth mindset. It is widely acknowledged that the
Correct article usage
apply
failure
is not fear but luck and having Correct article usage
a chances
chances
of encountering issuesFix the agreement mistake
chance
from
. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, Lee Ka Shing is a rich and wealthy businessman in Hong Kong who failed to inject venture capital. Still, he got
successful after numerous choices for a trial.
Verb problem
was
Then
, the following initiatives of getting lost is
about learning from others and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
enriches
new understanding and Wrong verb form
enriching
perspectives
. For example
, according to
the
professor Luk Tai Lok, Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
a sociologists
sociologists
who graduated from HKU and taught Fix the agreement mistake
sociologist
in
EDUHK, he claimed that no Change preposition
at
people not got
Verb problem
person has
the
future in one of life's aspects. Correct article usage
a
For instance
, being an undergraduate school student, academic criteria and result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
is
Change the verb form
are
one
of the Correct determiner usage
some
most
concerns Correct word choice
biggest
in
Change preposition
of
the
students, who always Correct article usage
apply
mentioned
Wrong verb form
mention
about
getting or fighting with Change preposition
apply
A+
or A grade, more extreme Correct article usage
an A+
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
is
relevant. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
However
, still, majority people
may Change preposition
of people
get
Rephrase
still get
B
grade in the prior assignment or assessment. But, learning from others and past experience can change the results of others' assignments afterwards. Correct article usage
a B
Therefore
, there is no doubt that failure
is a core value. It just depends on the people
's personal judgment but we can accept it because people
may have the chances
to make progress and improvement. The more experience you obtain, the more chances of learning and understanding new Fix the agreement mistake
chance
perspectives
people
may have.
To conclude
, it is concluded that no matter the academic aspects of becoming a successful person in an academic field one may need to encounter the process of failure
to be successful. From my personal view, therefore
, it is more advisable for people
to receive the failure
education with learning
process of Add an article
the learning
failure
experimentally and theoretically so that people
can have more self-disciplines
and improve continuously.Correct your spelling
self-discipline
Submitted by asllchkied on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay fails to provide a clear logical structure. It starts with a confused premise and the development of points is disjointed. The lack of logical connectors and clear progression of ideas makes the text difficult to follow. To improve coherence, consider planning your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single point, and a conclusion that summarizes your argument. Use cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in conclusion', to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Task Achievement
While you addressed the essay topic, your response was not entirely clear and comprehensive. The task was to discuss whether people learn more from losing than from winning, and to provide your viewpoint. Your essay veers into discussing the necessity of failure for success rather than comparing learning from losing with learning from winning. To address the task more effectively, ensure your essay directly responds to the question by examining both aspects (winning and losing) and providing clear examples to support your arguments. State your position clearly in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Make sure your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.