IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the acedemic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valueable to be shared freely Discuss both these view points and give your own opinion.

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It certainly can not be denied that good
information
Use synonyms
 is the key to research
on
Change preposition
for
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 the purpose of any business
as well as
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academics. The benefits of
such
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 informative discussion are obvious, as life has become easier and more convenient.
However
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, some people feel that it should be shared with each other
while
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 others believe that some pieces of
information
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 too private to be shared freely. It surely is debatable and both views seem to hold water. But before coming to a reasoned conclusion, let us discuss both views. On the one hand, there could be a myriad of reasons why some people say that if relevant
information
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be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 shared within in team or department there would be less chance for mistakes. Other than
this
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,
such
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 informative things definitely increase the success of any research or topic.
According to
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 researchers, they first develop their ideas and after that share them with the concerned person to get
others
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others'
other's
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viewpoint
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoints
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.
Moreover
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, it can be helpful to share the same planning with the startup.
On the other hand
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, some might feel that if they will share any
information
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 with anyone
then
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 they can lose their privacy because if they start any research or business
then
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 another person can copy their style.
Furthermore
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, they
also
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 feel that without sharing their own private
information
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 they can do
more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
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 easily and
as well as
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 more perfectly.
However
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,
according to
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 a recent survey, it was found that most people
do
Verb problem
commit
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 fraud with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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researchers and leak helpful informative documents for their benefit. In conclusion, since both viewpoints hold water, it is difficult to favour one argument. But I do feel that without sharing
information
Use synonyms
 no one can get the desired result, what they are looking for in
this
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 world.

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task achievement
The essay only partially addresses the requirements of the task. It does not fully explore the reasons behind each viewpoint nor sufficiently develop the writer's own opinion. The essay would benefit from a clearer position throughout, with fully developed arguments supporting each viewpoint. Additionally, the conclusion does not adequately summarize the discussion or reflect a strong personal stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates some ability to organize ideas and information but lacks clear progression in places. Paragraphs are discernible but transitions between ideas could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is apparent but occasionally inaccurate or repetitive. Varying these connections between ideas and ensuring they match the content they're linking will enhance the flow of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • proprietary
  • collaborative efforts
  • cross-pollination of ideas
  • open-source
  • non-disclosure agreements (NDAs)
  • trade secrets
  • intellectual property (IP)
  • data integrity
  • ethics in information sharing
  • competitive edge
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