IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of crime in Machester city centre from 2003-2012.

The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of crime in Machester city centre from 2003-2012.
#changes #three #areas #crime #machester #city #centre
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The line graph illustrates the difference in
burglary
Use synonyms
, car theft, and robbery in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 centre of Manchester between 2003 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
initially
Linking Words
cases
Use synonyms
 related to
burglary
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 highest but declined in later years
whereas
Linking Words
 robbery
cases
Use synonyms
 were the lowest and
not
Add a missing verb
did not
show examples
much
Add a missing verb
have much
show examples
 difference throughout
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
. The car theft
cases
Use synonyms
 increased which replaced the
burglary
Use synonyms
. In 2004, the
burglary
Use synonyms
cases
Use synonyms
 were increased around 3800 but showed a sudden decrease till 2008.
Then
Linking Words
,
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2009 to 2012, the
Use synonyms
cases
Change the noun form
case
show examples
 number
not
Add a missing verb
has not
show examples
 changed from 1500.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of car
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
 were
initially
Linking Words
 decreased till 2006 from 2400 to 2000
whereas
Linking Words
 a dramatic
rose
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
cases
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2800 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the robbery
cases
Use synonyms
 from
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 were just above 500 and in the final
year
Use synonyms
 were
also
Linking Words
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 which had
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 much differences and they were
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 numbers of
cases
Use synonyms
 in Manchester.
Submitted by jeenusarah on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words burglary, cases, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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