Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on every day matters (such as foods, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

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Although

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it is argued by some individuals that if

parents

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let their

children

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decide on their issues, it will lead to having selfish individuals in the community in the future, some believe that making

decisions

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is very significant for

children

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and should be taken more into consideration. Decision making is as vital as other skills which are essential for kids which should be taught by

parents

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as well as

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schools regarding the matters they face daily in their life,

however

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, some people are opposed to

this

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idea claiming that not only is not it beneficial for the

children

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to learn how to make

decisions

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apply

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but

also

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it will have a negative impact in the community by treating selfish individuals. We can take food, clothes, and entertainment as salient examples of everyday affairs which should be made by

children

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`s own ideas as

parents

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must know the fact that

children

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want to have a notable characteristic in society. Having known about it earlier, they would have encouraged their kids to be taught step-by-step how to make

decisions

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in their lives.

However

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, there is another group including me who do not think so as they believe that the more experience

children

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have in decision-making from

the

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early age, the better

decisions

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they can make in the future and the more successful people they will become in their occupations.

Additionally

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, they might have a better insight into issues that will be encountered by them in the foreseeable future.

Furthermore

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, it will remove their stress by knowing how to behave in various situations contributing to enhancing their self-esteem and making them head and shoulders above others. In conclusion, it would be absurd if

parents

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turned a blind eye to

this

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key issue by neglecting their

children

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`s entitlement to be able to decide about their own affairs. As far as I have experienced with

this

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topic, I am definitely an advocate of the latter group as all aspects related to

this

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matter have been considered under certain circumstances.

ieltsacademic77Sat Oct 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow by organizing ideas more clearly and ensuring each paragraph represents a single main idea.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to support your main points, which could enhance clarity and engagement.

coherence cohesion

The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, offering a good overview and summary of your thoughts.

task achievement

You cover both sides of the argument, which contributes to a well-rounded essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Your opinion

Many people claim that massive invesment in tecnology for space exploration is a wastage of money. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made as fourth skill to the list. To what extent do you agree?