Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on every day matters (such as foods, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Although
it is argued by some individuals that if parents
let their children
decide on their issues, it will lead to having selfish individuals in the community in the future, some believe that making decisions
is very significant for children
and should be taken more into consideration.
Decision making is as vital as other skills which are essential for kids which should be taught by parents
as well as
schools regarding the matters they face daily in their life, however
, some people are opposed to this
idea claiming that not only is not it beneficial for the children
to learn how to make decisions
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
it will have a negative impact in the community by treating selfish individuals. We can take food, clothes, and entertainment as salient examples of everyday affairs which should be made by children
`s own ideas as parents
must know the fact that children
want to have a notable characteristic in society. Having known about it earlier, they would have encouraged their kids to be taught step-by-step how to make decisions
in their lives.
However
, there is another group including me who do not think so as they believe that the more experience children
have in decision-making from the
early age, the better Correct article usage
an
decisions
they can make in the future and the more successful people they will become in their occupations. Additionally
, they might have a better insight into issues that will be encountered by them in the foreseeable future. Furthermore
, it will remove their stress by knowing how to behave in various situations contributing to enhancing their self-esteem and making them head and shoulders above others.
In conclusion, it would be absurd if parents
turned a blind eye to this
key issue by neglecting their children
`s entitlement to be able to decide about their own affairs. As far as I have experienced with this
topic, I am definitely an advocate of the latter group as all aspects related to this
matter have been considered under certain circumstances.Submitted by ieltsacademic77 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow by organizing ideas more clearly and ensuring each paragraph represents a single main idea.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your main points, which could enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, offering a good overview and summary of your thoughts.
task achievement
You cover both sides of the argument, which contributes to a well-rounded essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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