IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In most countries people prefer to rent rather than buying them? Write advantage and disadvantages of renting home?

#countries #people #rent #advantage #home
It is argued that in some countries society tends to lease houses
instead
 of owning them.
This
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could give benefits and some detrimental effects.
Therefore
, in
this
 essay, I would like to elucidate both views and give some relevant evidence. Nowadays, it is obvious that purchasing a resident is
so
Rephrase
very
show examples
 expensive. Not all
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 have the capacity to pay for a building in cash,
therefore
 they need to take a mortgage loan and it takes a long time to settle the debt.
As a result
, they prefer to
rent
 a
house
 or an apartment than
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 them. Undoubtedly, there are some advantages of renting a
house
 than buying it. The foremost benefit is people can save and invest their
money
 so that they can get more returns. Investing in stock markets is one of the examples that could generate
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money
 and get a passive income.
This
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
 more profits than owning a building.
Besides
, people do not have to pay an instalment of
mortgage
Correct article usage
a mortgage
show examples
 loan because they just
rent
 their houses.
Moreover
, some people can allocate the
money
 to more urgent aspects
such
 as education or emergency
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 in case there is trouble in the future.
On the other hand
, renting without buying a residence is
such
 a waste of time. Every month, the ones who
rent
 need to pay the landlords. Let's say the
rent
 is about 3 million rupiahs. If they could use the
money
 to be allocated to buy a
house
 in a mortgage, they could own a
house
 in the next 15 years.
Furthermore
, not owning a
house
 could create a possibility of being evicted by the real owner of the
house
 that gives the
rent
.
For instance
, when the
rent
 is due but we do not have the
money
 to pay the
rent
, the owner will
be easily evict
Change the verb form
easily evict
show examples
 us in no time.
To conclude
, the phenomenon of renting houses
instead
 of owning them gives advantages and some disadvantages.
Therefore
, society needs to consider both views to get the best results.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure that flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Transitions can be improved for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score in introduction and conclusion, continue to maintain a clear position throughout your response, which you have done well, and ensure to reiterate your main points succinctly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples or evidence. Specificity can enhance the argument and demonstrate a fuller understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure to cover the advantages and disadvantages of renting comprehensively. The essay has a good attempt, but can be expanded with further detail.
task achievement
Ensure that the ideas presented are clear and comprehensive. Aim to elaborate on points to fully convey the complexity of the argument.
task achievement
Use examples that are relevant and specific to the essay question to effectively support your points, such as citing real-world statistics or trends that relate to renting vs. owning homes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!