In poor families, teenagers may have to work part-time as well as study. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this for these teenagers.
There is a strong argument that young people from poor families should study and
work
part-time
to cater to their financial needs. In this
essay, I will examine from both sides the benefits and drawbacks of the statement.
To begin
with, teens who are taking
part-Wrong verb form
take
time
jobs aside while
studying have more advantages and the prominent one is they can help their family's economy with their own salary. For example
, My best friend in high school
was not born fancy, and her family economy was not stable. She decided to take a side job in between classes as an admin with a salary of 5 thousand a month. Her income allows her to cater to her needs without the need to ask for money from her parents anymore such
as buying new shoes and servicing her laptop. It makes her financially independent for her age. Moreover
, she even can lighten her parents' financial burden by paying for her sister's school
fees. She contributes a lot to her family's income.
However
, on the other side, besides
the pros, there are some negative sides to this
situation. The adverse consequence is being a part-timer makes students
have a time
constraint and need to bear more responsibility. Their time
will be more hectic than other students
because after classes they need to go to the office, sit behind the desk, and finish their work
. They are not only responsible as a student but also
as a worker, so they need to manage their time
between studying, doing their work
, and resting at the same time
. Some students
even sacrifice their rest time
to finish their homework and their work
due to
both deadlines. As a result
, most of them get burnout and stress. For instance
, my best friend in her first 3 months as an admin part-time
, struggled to organize her schedule well. She often did not sleep for 2 days in a row because need to finish her school
assignments and work
tasks at the same time
. Consequently
, she ended up getting typhus and needed to be hospitalized because of physical and mental fatigue. Furthermore
, taking two roles, as a part-timer and a student, makes the students
focus divided between academics and work
. In most cases, the academic performances of the students
are most likely to decrease because they hardly focus more on study.
In conclusion, there are some advantages and disadvantages for teens who come from impoverished families to work
as part-timers aside from studying at school
. The benefits are they can contribute to increasing their family income and make them financially independent at a young age, whereas
, there are some things they need to pay for such
as sacrificing their resting time
and having chances of declining their academic performances due to
work
. Everything does not come easy, it requires something to sacrifice for.Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on
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task achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Keep your response focused on the topic and ensure you discuss both sides of the argument thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
For higher scores in Coherence and Cohesion, use a range of cohesive devices effectively and ensure clear progression of ideas. Avoid redundancy and aim for precision in linking words and phrases.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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