the rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's digital age, many
people
tend to
use
information
technology for many
purpose
Change to a plural noun
purposes
show examples
so
utiliing
Correct your spelling
utilising
utilizing
social
media
become a hot topic as well.
This
author argues that the
metrits
Correct your spelling
merits
metrics
of connecting different communities and updating news on social
media
outweigh the drawback of social
media
distraction. The most advantageous factor of using social
media
is that it can help
people
connect with others more easily. By way of explanation, available of the internet
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
human contact with other
people
who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
far from them to have a
conservation
Correct your spelling
conversation
show examples
by chatting or calling and they can make
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
more naturally without shyness or embarrassment . From prior knowledge, social
media
such
as Facebook, messenger or
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
cater
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
users
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
one
feet
Change to a singular noun
foot
show examples
ahead of connecting with their friends and families more conveniently than
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
the trail like
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
a letter which
waste
Change the verb form
wastes
show examples
a lot of time.
Thus
, the convenient connection of utilising social
media
is the most beneficial
people
own when they
use
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
for communication. The increasing level of knowledge about news must
also
be considered. It must be
regconised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
that
people
can not access
information
by reading newspapers as fast as utilising
information
technology, whereby,
people
who do not
use
social
media
are likely to be
out dated
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
.
As a result
, social
media
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
people
have a chance to enhance their
information
and
also
they can have a topic to get conservation to tie their friendships more familiarly. Take Vietnamese as a typical instance there, they believe that searching about hot news and
discuss about
Wrong verb form
discussing
show examples
it together
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them more
familiarly
Change the word
familiar
show examples
.
Thereby
Rephrase
Therefore
show examples
,
people
should consider
putting
Verb problem
using
show examples
social
media
as a part of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
to have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best conservation.
However
,
people
use
too much social
media
is
also
a problem makes many
people
hesitate to
use
it because of distraction. They believe that the
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
of social
media
can make them ignore
Correct pronoun usage
their surrounding
show examples
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
and their conservations, living forever in
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
show examples
world.
This
may be true, but by managing
timetable
Correct article usage
a timetable
show examples
, they can monitor and control the time they spend on social
media
.
Consequently
, utilising social
media
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
make progress.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion, the possible impact of distraction is outweighed by the opportunity to increase
information
and connect
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Hence
,
utising
Correct your spelling
utilising
using
social
media
can be more beneficial for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
There are issues with the essay's coherence due to paragraphing, unclear topic sentences, undeveloped arguments, and spelling mistakes that affect readability. Enhance coherence by using clear topic sentences and developing paragraphs with specific examples and clearer argumentation. Ensure proper paragraphing for each key idea.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task but lacks fully developed arguments and specific illustrations. To better fulfill the task requirements, expand on key points with detailed illustrations and explanations. The conclusion could offer a more effective summary of the points discussed and a restatement of the essay's argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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