IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that studying online is more effective than studying on campus. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online study?

#people #campus #study
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While
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 a faction of people
holds
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hold
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 the notion that virtual
study
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 is more effective than campus
study
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, others argue that online
education
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 is not beneficial for
learners
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.
This
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 essay will delve into
the
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apply
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both
view points
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viewpoints
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 with
relevent
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relevant
 illustrations.
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One
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On
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 the
one
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 hand, accessibility to
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 courses around the globe is
one
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 of the obvious
advantage
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advantages
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 of online
education
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.
In other words
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, the students can
enroll
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enrol
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to
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on
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 the courses provided by renowned universities without directly visiting the facility.
For example
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, an Indian student can
to
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apply
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join the
harvard
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Harvard
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university
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 online
education
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 program without
travel
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travelling
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 to the USA.
Similarly
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, the
learners
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are not require
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are not required
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 to commute to the educational institutions for their
study
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,
therefore
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, they can effectively utilize their time to be proficient in their
acdamic
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academic
 subjects.
In contrast
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, undeniably,
university
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 students
are
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apply
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often do part-time work for their living
expense
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expenses
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,
however
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,
the
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apply
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distance
education
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 students are able to
study
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 at their own
home
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homes
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.
On the other hand
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,
one
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 of the important
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 of online
education
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, arguably, is the less interaction with their tutors and peers
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to the
leaners
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learners
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 in campus
study
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.
As a result
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, they might not get enough support from these people for their
academics
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academic
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 improvement.
Moreover
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, the
learners
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 should have high
self motivation
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self-motivation
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 to attend regularly to online courses.
For example
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, a recent
study
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 at
the
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apply
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Oxford
University
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, a reputed
university
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 in
UK
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the UK
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, indicated that course drop-outs in distance
education
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 are significantly higher than campus
learners
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.
In addition
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, online
learners
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, unsurprisingly,
isolated
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are isolated
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 from their peers since they need to spend more time
infront
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in front
 of the computer to
study
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 which should not be overlooked. In conclusion, accessibility
for
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to
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the
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apply
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course
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courses
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 around the world and more time for
study
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 are the major advantages of
the
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apply
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online
study
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. Ergo,minimal interaction
and
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apply
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less support from academic faculties, and social isolation are the major disadvantages.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence with an identifiable introduction and conclusion. However, more could be done to enhance the logical flow of ideas throughout the text.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but the support could be more developed with clearer and more relatable examples for each point. Ensure that each paragraph expands on its main idea effectively.
task achievement
The essay tends to superficially address the task with limited development of ideas. It's important to delve deeper into each point and expand the discussion with more nuanced perspectives.
task achievement
While relevant examples are provided, they could be further detailed and specific to better illustrate the points made. Each example should clearly support the advantage or disadvantage discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • convenience
  • access
  • resources
  • cost-effective
  • affordable
  • diverse
  • global
  • self-discipline
  • self-motivated
  • disciplined
  • personal growth
  • collaborative
  • technical difficulties
  • connectivity
  • disrupt
  • hands-on experience
  • replicate
  • self-motivation
  • proactive
  • challenging
  • distractions
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