IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People today spend less and less time interacting with other people in their neighborhood and this has a negative impact on community. What are the causes and solutions?

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It is considered that individuals are less communicate with other
people
Use synonyms
 living beside their houses.In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the causes
such
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 as social isolation, technology and solutions to
this
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 issue. On the one hand,
people
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 are spending less time with other
people
Use synonyms
 specifically with their
neighbours
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 because of technology .
In other words
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, technology has changed the lifestyle of
people
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as well as
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 children.
Additionally
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,
people
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 mostly spend their time using mobile phones and find less time to interact with their
neighbours
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as a result
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, social isolation is increasing in societies which leads to depression, anxiety and stress among
people
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however
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 social interaction brings happiness and life satisfaction in the communities.
For example
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, most
people
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 prefer to find assistance online about their illness rather than their
neighbours
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.
Thus
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, not interacting with
neighbours
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 leads to losing of sense of belongingness. Moving toward the solution to
this
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 problem, the Government should arrange festivals in which
people
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 with diverse skills
such
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 as dancing , art and poetry participate to share their knowledge and experience with their
neighbours
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for instance
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, parents who are worried about how to raise their children can easily get some advice from
neighbours
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.
secondly
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, the government should run awareness programmes about the neighbourhood, engaging with
neighbours
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 promote mental
as well as
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 emotional health because of sharing problems and sorrows.
This
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 creates a strong bond between them as they can
also
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 share their daily routine.
To sum up
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, interacting with other
people
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 , especially
neighbours
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 has both negative
such
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 as social isolation and positive effects like social bonds in societies but connecting with them leads to strong emotional stability.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph includes a clear main idea and that the essay follows a logical progression of ideas, linking each cause to the solution effectively.
Task Achievement
Try to deepen the discussion by providing clearer, more comprehensive examples to support each point, which will make your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your conclusion, briefly summarize the main points discussed in your essay to give a complete closure.
Introduction
You've effectively introduced the problem by defining what the issue of lack of communication in neighborhoods entails.
Task Achievement
The essay thoroughly covers both causes and solutions, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Conclusion
The conclusion provides a satisfactory summary and reflects understanding of the connection between social interaction and emotional well-being.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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