IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks

#places #world #tourism #source #income
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays lots of countries indicate
tourism
Use synonyms
 as one of the most important sources of income,
however
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 can cause problems if
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is not regulated by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 properly. Despite the
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
minuses,
tourism
Use synonyms
 has
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 more positive effects.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages of
travel
Add an article
the travel
show examples
 industry that
are outweighing
Wrong verb form
outweigh
show examples
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. The main benefit of developing
tourism
Use synonyms
 is
flowrishing
Correct your spelling
flourishing
Change preposition
of the
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 economy of the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, travellers tend to spend money on accommodation,
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
, shopping and other
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
, including tours to different
sightseeings
Fix the agreement mistake
sightseeing
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, tourists make huge
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 local retail shops and businesses.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 industry causes
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of issues
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 locals and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as vandalism and pollution in public areas and streets.
For example
Linking Words
, foreigners consume lots of goods that are sorted in plastic packages, which can not be recycled
,
Correct word choice
and, subsequently
show examples
subsequently
Linking Words
, discarded in streets. Anyway, these issues can be resolved by implementing strict measures and regulations for visitors.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even if
tourism
Use synonyms
 has some bad effects income from
tourism
Use synonyms
 into
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 budget offsets the detrimental effects and it is pivotal to the national
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 system.
Submitted by njoldassova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a reasonable structure, but you need to ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more clearly defined and effectively summarize your main points. Endeavor to also make transitions between paragraphs smoother.
task achievement
You made an attempt to address the task, but there is room for improvement. Be sure to provide a more detailed exploration of both the advantages and disadvantages. Also, give specific examples that apply to both sides to create a balanced argument before drawing a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: