People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, there is an increasing trend that people often pay their
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
show examples
through
credit
cards
.
Although
this
could provide
card holders
Correct your spelling
cardholders
show examples
some advantages, I still believe that the drawbacks of
this
trend
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the benefits it offers.
First,
proponets
Correct your spelling
proponents
may argue that paying through
credit
cards
is way more safer compared to
cashes
Change the wording
cash
amounts of cash
flows of cash
fistfuls of cash
show examples
. They might say carrying cash in your person can bring some risks, especially the possibility
to being
Verb problem
of
show examples
committed
Wrong verb form
committing
show examples
crimes. They could point out that
this
threat can be solved by utilizing
credit
cards
.
This
is because even if
pickpocket
Fix the agreement mistake
pickpockets
show examples
had the
card
from others, they could not steal
money
from the
card
holders.
However
, these advocates fail to factor
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
fact that being robbed means the owners
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not cautious enough, not
due to
paper
money
.
Furthermore
, having banknotes
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
crucial in some situations. Imagine a person who could not remember his
card
's password when he needed to make immediate payment, especially in case of
immergency
Correct your spelling
emergency
. Not only being
incovenient
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
,
credit
Add the word(s)
but credit cards are also
show examples
cards
are still having their own financial security concerns.
This
can be proved by the fact that some hackers can take advantage of
banking's
Change noun form
banking
show examples
errors and
stole
Wrong verb form
steal
show examples
money
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
card
owners.
This
could lead to serious consequences if
this
practice could not be investigated and
fix
Change the form of the verb
fixed
show examples
, including
permarnently
Correct your spelling
permanently
losing
money
and a sense of distrust in the banking systems. Those issues can be avoided if individuals switch from using online
money
to physical
cashes
Change the wording
cash
amounts of cash
flows of cash
fistfuls of cash
show examples
.
In other words
, people have a higher control of their property when using paper
money
. In conclusion, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
personal safety,
this
phenomenon mentioned above
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
likely
bring
Fix the infinitive
to bring
show examples
more concerns, including being inconvenient and financial security.
Submitted by ctl2207 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While the essay provides an introduction and a conclusion, the overall structure needs to be more logical and cohesive. Transitioning between ideas should be smoother, and the essay should ensure each paragraph naturally leads to the next.
task achievement
The response answers the question, but the points made are sometimes not fully developed or detailed. To achieve a higher score, elaborate more on your ideas and consider both the advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: