2.Some high school leavers tent to travel or work while before going to university directly. What do you think are the advantages more than disadvantages?

Experiencing that study is quite challenging for them predominantly, graduates from high

school

Use synonyms

inclined to make holiday before

come

Change the verb form

coming

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

While

Linking Words

many argue that it has

drawback

Add an article

the drawback

a drawback

show examples

of wasting

time

Use synonyms

, I do believe that going to beautiful places is beneficial to youngster's mental health and their

intellegencies

Correct your spelling

intelligence

intelligences

growth.

To begin

Linking Words

with, as

time

Use synonyms

is so precious in society's belief, doing unproductive activities seems to be

misuse

Correct article usage

a misuse

show examples

chance

Change preposition

of chance

show examples

that students behave.

While

Linking Words

travelling, they enjoy their

time

Use synonyms

and leave

tendecies

Correct your spelling

tendencies

to study.

For instance

Linking Words

, Olin, an excellent math student of Citra Buana

high

Correct your spelling

High School

show examples

school

Use synonyms

, had just left the

gradution

Correct your spelling

graduation

party two months ago

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and did not

reviewing

Wrong verb form

review

show examples

the aljabar concept until

become

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

a college learner.

Therefore

Linking Words

, she had to teach herself again

while

Linking Words

having another university

homerwork

Correct your spelling

homework

due to

Linking Words

memory loss on that knowledge.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, visiting new places brings happiness to fresh graduates which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is different from the burnout of the previous

condiiton

Correct your spelling

condition

in high

school

Use synonyms

. The stress of

exam

Correct article usage

the exam

show examples

changing to

wonderful

Correct article usage

a wonderful

show examples

spot makes

Correct pronoun usage

my nerve

show examples

nerve

Fix the agreement mistake

nerves

show examples

relaxed.

For example

Linking Words

, Kevin whose face

was never smile

Change the verb form

was never smiling

show examples

because being

Replace the word

too

show examples

serious

Change preposition

about

show examples

pyshics

Correct your spelling

psychics

physics

subjects in Permata Hati

school

Use synonyms

. Ending his education and joining

family

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

trip to America, his mom realizes that Kevin

laughes

Correct your spelling

laughs

laughed

loudly to others

involving

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

in.

Also

Linking Words

, young people could grant themselves a thinking escalation by

refresh

Change the verb form

refreshing

show examples

their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

This

Linking Words

action enables high

school

Use synonyms

graduates to experience new input by feeling and witnessing the ambience of

unknown

Correct article usage

an unknown

show examples

view,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which they have never

been

Correct your spelling

seen

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

before. In conclusion,

fresh-graduates

Correct your spelling

fresh graduates

show examples

from high

school

Use synonyms

are

Verb problem

benefit

show examples

benefitted

Verb problem

apply

show examples

in mental stability

showed

Wrong verb form

showing

show examples

in fullfillment of

mind

Correct article usage

the mind

show examples

, and increasing brain capability of

analysys orginated

Correct your spelling

analysis originated

from

recent

Correct article usage

a recent

show examples

view. Even though

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

their disadvantage is letting valuable

time

Use synonyms

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

pass.

misstiasclassroom

Jan 17, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks clear and logical structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow your arguments. It is important to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea that is directly related to the question prompt.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. In the conclusion, succinctly summarize your main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing your main points with more specific examples and explanations. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details related to the prompt.

task achievement

You should fully address the prompt, including both the advantages and disadvantages. Ensure you give a balanced discussion and that your opinion is clear throughout. Provide a summarizing sentence at the end of each paragraph to draw conclusions from your points.

task achievement

Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim to present your argument in a way that's easily understood, with clear explanations and well-developed ideas.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should clearly illustrate your points and be directly related to the prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Gap year
Practical experiences
Soft skills
Cultural awareness
Financial independence
Burnout
Adaptability
Career decisions
Mental fatigue
Mature understanding

What to do next:

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