2.Some high school leavers tent to travel or work while before going to university directly. What do you think are the advantages more than disadvantages?
Experiencing that study is quite challenging for them predominantly, graduates from high
school
inclined to make holiday before come
Change the verb form
coming
into
Change preposition
to
university
. Add an article
the university
While
many argue that it has drawback
of wasting Add an article
the drawback
a drawback
time
, I do believe that going to beautiful places is beneficial to youngster's mental health and their intellegencies
growth.
Correct your spelling
intelligence
intelligences
To begin
with, as time
is so precious in society's belief, doing unproductive activities seems to be misuse
Correct article usage
a misuse
chance
that students behave. Change preposition
of chance
While
travelling, they enjoy their time
and leave tendecies
to study. Correct your spelling
tendencies
For instance
, Olin, an excellent math student of Citra Buana high
Correct your spelling
High School
school
, had just left the gradution
party two months agoCorrect your spelling
graduation
,
and did not Remove the comma
apply
reviewing
the aljabar concept until Wrong verb form
review
become
a college learner. Wrong verb form
became
Therefore
, she had to teach herself again while
having another university homerwork
Correct your spelling
homework
due to
memory loss on that knowledge.
Nevertheless
, visiting new places brings happiness to fresh graduates which it
is different from the burnout of the previous Correct pronoun usage
apply
condiiton
in high Correct your spelling
condition
school
. The stress of exam
changing to Correct article usage
the exam
wonderful
spot makes Correct article usage
a wonderful
Correct pronoun usage
my nerve
nerve
relaxed. Fix the agreement mistake
nerves
For example
, Kevin whose face was never smile
because being Change the verb form
was never smiling
to
serious Replace the word
too
on
Change preposition
about
pyshics
subjects in Permata Hati Correct your spelling
psychics
physics
school
. Ending his education and joining family
trip to America, his mom realizes that Kevin Add an article
the family
a family
laughes
loudly to others Correct your spelling
laughs
laughed
involving
in. Wrong verb form
involved
Also
, young people could grant themselves a thinking escalation by refresh
their Change the verb form
refreshing
mind
. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
This
action enables high school
graduates to experience new input by feeling and witnessing the ambience of unknown
view, Correct article usage
an unknown
at
which they have never Change preposition
apply
been
Correct your spelling
seen
to
before.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
fresh-graduates
from high Correct your spelling
fresh graduates
school
are
more Verb problem
benefit
benefitted
in mental stability Verb problem
apply
showed
in fullfillment of Wrong verb form
showing
mind
, and increasing brain capability of Correct article usage
the mind
analysys orginated
from Correct your spelling
analysis originated
recent
view. Even though Correct article usage
a recent
that
their disadvantage is letting valuable Correct word choice
apply
time
to
pass.Fix the infinitive
apply
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear and logical structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow your arguments. It is important to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea that is directly related to the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. In the conclusion, succinctly summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points with more specific examples and explanations. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details related to the prompt.
task achievement
You should fully address the prompt, including both the advantages and disadvantages. Ensure you give a balanced discussion and that your opinion is clear throughout. Provide a summarizing sentence at the end of each paragraph to draw conclusions from your points.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim to present your argument in a way that's easily understood, with clear explanations and well-developed ideas.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should clearly illustrate your points and be directly related to the prompt.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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