Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is often believed that

people

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should spend their leisure time advancing their mental abilities through reading and puzzles.

However

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, some

people

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are sceptical about

this

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view, putting more importance on

rest

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. I support the latter view, for taking a

rest

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leads to the improvement of mental health regardless of some psychological

activities

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stimulating their mind for new attempts. On the one hand, it is beneficial to

people

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with mental

activities

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since they are more motivated to make a positive contribution to society.

In other words

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, the

activities

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of reading and solving quizzes are often inspirational, encouraging

people

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to absorb new ideas

as well as

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think critically.

For instance

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, many admired scientists

such

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as Einstein are known to be good readers , who gathered a significant amount of data from books to conduct experiments until they successfully created effective medicines.

This

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promotes a greater sense of accomplishment than spending time in a passive way by watching movies and listening to music.

On the other hand

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, taking a

rest

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is regarded as more essential with a declining level of health of individuals in modern society. Indeed, more

people

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suffer from psychological problems including depression and anxiety, making it more difficult for them to control their emotions

due to

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various factors from their growing dependence on technology to an overload of work.

For instance

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, one out of 5 workers in Japan is said not to be mentally stable, some of whom even suffer from insomnia, causing dizziness and headaches.

Consequently

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, taking sufficient

rest

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is crucial for them to be released from daily stress and gain the power to manage their feelings and behaviours. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that

people

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should spend more time resting than having some mental

activities

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because of the increasing number of

people

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who feel stressed and have unstable psychological and physical conditions.

Nevertheless

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, reading and puzzling strengthen their mental abilities, promoting new ideas and discoveries.

mizuhoFri Sep 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay addresses both views and provides a relative conclusion, ensure that each paragraph’s main idea is clearly stated at the start to help guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

The use of phrases like 'for instance' and 'in other words' shows coherent argumentation, but aim to further develop the connections between your points to make the essay flow even more smoothly.

task achievement

The essay presents a comprehensive response to the task, but consider elaborating on the counterargument to make your own stance even clearer and stronger.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear, but pay attention to varying sentence structures and avoiding repetition (e.g., rephrasing 'mental activities' to maintain engagement).

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effectively present, clearly framing the discussion and argument.

task achievement

Good use of examples, like the mention of Einstein and the situation in Japan, effectively supports your points and makes the essay engaging.

coherence cohesion

You make logical points and provide a balanced view of both sides, which demonstrates critical thinking.

task achievement

The essay fully addresses the task and is well-organized, showing a good level of writing proficiency.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive abilities
mental stagnation
intellectually stimulating
relaxation
meditation
stress reduction
overall well-being
personal development
life satisfaction
sense of achievement
emotional balance
peace of mind
scientific evidence
memory
learning
creativity
emotional regulation

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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

PERSONAL INFORMATION These days more people put their personal information, such as names, addresses and telephone numbers, online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In many part of the world, people do research on their family history. Some people believe that finding our about previous generations is a usefull thing to do However, others believe that it is better to focus on present and future generation. Discuss both view and give your opinion?