IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The rate of cybercrime is increasing day by day in the world. What are the reasons and what can be done to tackle this issue?

The diagram
describe
Change the verb form
describes
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 the process of producing
sugar
Use synonyms
 from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane. There are seven stages in total,
begin
Wrong verb form
beginning
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 with growing the
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane and ending with drying and cooling the final product. The process is linear and involves both human and machine work. It
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 from farming and finishes with final
sugar
Use synonyms
 which is ready to use. Crushing, filtering, heating and separation are the main steps in the middle of the process.
First,
Linking Words
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane is grown and it takes about 12 to 18 months. After that, it is harvested either manually by workers or by machines.
Then
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
 canes are crushed to get juice from them.
This
Linking Words
 juice
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 through a limestone filter to remove impurities.
Next,
Linking Words
the cleaned juice is heated in
evaporator
Correct article usage
an evaporator
show examples
 where it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 syrup. The syrup is
then
Linking Words
 placed in a centrifuge machine to separate the
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystal from the liquid.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
 is dried and cooled to produce the finished product.

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task achievement
Add a brief overview or summary to your introduction to highlight the main stages of the process before delving into details.
coherence
Ensure all verbs are in the correct tense consistently, for example, 'start' should be 'starts.'
coherence
Use more linking phrases between stages to improve the flow of ideas, like 'subsequently' or 'after that.'
positive
You have described the stages of the sugar production process clearly and in chronological order, which makes it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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