IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people disagree with a school policy which forces children to learn new language what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #policy #forces #children #language
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An enormous number of people fail to agree with
education
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the education
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 program rule which obligates kids to acquire knowledge of a distinct
language
. There are merits and demerits of
this
 statement but
then
 I strongly support the idea of enforcing the learning of a different will be of great benefit to the learners and even to the community at large. To commence with,
Puting
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Putting
 measures for the brand-new communication method to be learnt will ensure that all the young persons get equal opportunity to gain the skill without bias as learning
inistitution
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institution
institutions
 will have to offer it. As an example, if every school forces youngsters to become proficient in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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speech
then
 no child will have an excuse for not mastering the
language
. Another
indispensible
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indispensable
 truth is that
,
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apply
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 the young ones will be able to exchange words with ease
from
Change preposition
with
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 other parties after gaining an understanding of the vocabulary which is indifferent
from
Change preposition
to
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 their
mothertongue
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mother tongue
mother-tongue
.
For instance
,
incase
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in case
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 one wants to move from their hometown and relocate to an
unconvervant
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unconversant
 town
then
 he or she will find it much easier to navigate through the unknown city as they already understand the other
language
 well. There are downsides of the above
revalation
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revelation
 namely, the schoolchildren may become confused if the terminologies they learn
is
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are
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simillar
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similar
 to their domestic
language
 but with differing
meanings
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meanings,
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 since a word in a certain community may refer to something else in a discrete
slanguage
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language
show examples
.
Additionally
, if absorbing the skill requires funds
then
 not everyone will be able to afford the course as
their
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there
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 are varying economic classes of human beings. In conclusion, given the scenarios above, everything can be
recapulated
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recapitulated
 into the fact that the issue of enforcing learning of a fresh linguistic is absolutely perfect in my point of view given that
it's
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its
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 pros
such
 as uniform access to
acquring
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acquiring
 the unexisting vocab and effortless mingling with people from a
disimillar
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similar
dissimilar
 region. The phenomenon
also
 has cons e.g bringing about
confusion
Add an article
a confusion
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 of
simillar
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similar
 words but all considered I
vigourously
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vigorously
 agree that academies should compel little ones to acquire knowledge of a fresh
language
.
Submitted by rebecckwamboka96 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a recognizable structure; however, ideas are often presented in a manner that lacks clarity and logical sequencing. Work on enhancing the flow of information and improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs to strengthen the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You have adequately addressed the task and presented arguments for both viewpoints; however, a more balanced development of ideas is required. Ensure each argument is fully explained and supported by relevant, specific examples. Also, aim for a more consistent and neutral tone in line with academic writing standards.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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