IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed.

#city #brandfield #planners #mall #area #two #sites
The given map shows Brandfield
city
 planners which decided to build a new shopping
mall
 in
area
Add an article
the area
an area
show examples
 with two sides S1 and S2.
Overall
, it can be seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
models of
building
Add an article
a building
the building
show examples
located
Add a missing verb
are located
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 close to the
city
 centre but
different
Change preposition
on different
show examples
 two sides.
To begin
, the first possible shop
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is located on the north
side
 of
city
Add an article
the city
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 centre and near the Housing Estate.
Also
 S1 building
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
surrounded by
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
,
road
Correct word choice
and road
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 and the river flows
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 east
side
 of
mall
Correct article usage
the mall
show examples
center
. The second possible
mall
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is located on the east
side
 of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and on the north
side
 of
Industrial
Correct article usage
the Industrial
show examples
 Estate.
Also
 around the S2
building
Add a comma
building,
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 there are
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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 and
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
.
For
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion the best proposal for
mall
Correct article usage
the mall
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 first option is suitable.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear introduction that outlines what your essay will cover without mixing details about the sites. Use appropriate paragraphing to separate your descriptions of S1 and S2.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'however', or 'in contrast' to connect your ideas more clearly and show the relationships between them.
coherence cohesion
Make your conclusion more distinct by summarizing the advantages and/or disadvantages of each site before stating your opinion. A concluding statement can help to make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to the task by not only describing the sites but also mentioning why one might be preferable over the other based on the map's information.
task achievement
Develop your main points with clearer, more comprehensive descriptions of each potential site, mentioning more specific elements from the map and considering the implications of each feature for the shoppers or the city.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or reasoning as to why certain features in the map might impact the suitability of the mall site. This could involve discussing the proximity to other city areas, transport links, or potential environmental impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • residential areas
  • economic impact
  • accessibility
  • traffic congestion
  • public transportation
  • environmental implications
  • sustainability
  • commercial development
  • site comparison
  • local community
  • consumer behavior
  • retail ecosystem
  • zoning regulations
  • footfall
  • parking facilities
  • green spaces
  • land use
  • civic amenities
What to do next:
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