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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#process #bricks #industry #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates the brick manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the are seven stages in the
process
Use synonyms
,
first
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 is digging up the
clay
Use synonyms
 and finishing with
delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
show examples
 of brick to the construction.
To begin
Linking Words
,
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 step of
Use synonyms
process
Add an article
the process
show examples
 is
excavator
Correct article usage
the excavator
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dinged the
clay
Use synonyms
 from the ground. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the
clay
Use synonyms
growth
Replace the word
grows
show examples
 through
metal
Add an article
the metal
a metal
show examples
 grid, which
brakes
Verb problem
breaks
show examples
 the
clay
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small pieces and
roller
Correct article usage
a roller
show examples
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
process
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 sand and water are put
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
clay
Use synonyms
 and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
mixture
Correct article usage
a mixture
show examples
. Mixture put the wire culler for the making
bricks
Use synonyms
, before going to the drying oven.
Drying
Add an article
The drying
show examples
process
Use synonyms
 takes 24-48 hours.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 dried
bricks
Use synonyms
 go through moderate. Next
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
heating in a kiln and temperature
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
200
Change preposition
from 200
show examples
 C-
1300
Change preposition
to 1300
show examples
 C. The
bricks
Use synonyms
 are cooled in the cooling chamber between 48-72 hours. After the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are packed and
finally
Linking Words
 they are delivered to the construction.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, clay, bricks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacture
  • brick(s)
  • building industry
  • digging
  • extraction
  • raw material
  • clay
  • mixing
  • moulding
  • wire cutting
  • drying oven
  • firing
  • kiln
  • high temperatures
  • hardening
  • cooling
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • traditional
  • modern
  • environmental considerations
  • sustainability practices
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