Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is often believed that controlling
children
's behaviour
is necessary for parents and teachers while
others are more tolerant of their free behaviour
. I partially support the former to encourage their healthy acts regardless of the growing sense of independence as they become more responsible for their own acts.
On the one hand, adults
should play a significant role in determining what children
should do and should not so they can learn to manage their behaviour
. In other words
, they will be more aware of their wrongdoings which should be avoided thanks to the advice from adults
who are concerned about them the most. For instance
, they are more likely to limit their screen time so as not to damage their eyesight when parents restrict their use of smartphones and computers.Thus
, such
restrictions imposed on children
will allow them to control their selfish desire to take more healthy actions, which bring more benefits to the children
themselves.
On the other hand
, adults
' intervention in children
's behaviour
can discourage their independence as they are less likely to think on their own. Indeed, they not only tend to refrain from thinking critically but also
have creative imagination, resulting from their constant dependence on their parents and teachers in every aspect of their lives. In contrast
, those who are allowed to act freely are usually better at solving problems as they are encouraged to take responsibility for their own behaviour
. Therefore
, they are more likely to gain significant skills and knowledge that are essential in life as they learn from a number of mistakes they have made.
In conclusion, I somewhat believe that the guide from adults
is crucial for children
to distinguish the difference between good and bad as well as
regulate their wants. However
, the excessive restriction on their behaviour
can impede their critical and creative mind, making it important for adults
to allow them to act with their own responsibilities.Submitted by mizuho on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph's main idea is clearly stated in the topic sentence to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Include more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the overall quality and readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are discussed effectively, providing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the point about limiting screen time, add depth to the argument.