IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the changes in gross domestic product (GDP) in Western Cape between 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the changes in gross domestic product (GDP) in Western Cape between 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #product #gdp #cape #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 compare the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of Western
Cape
Use synonyms
's gross domestic product generated by
two
Use synonyms
 industries - IT and
Service
Use synonyms
 - from 1990 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, in a decade, the IT
industry
Use synonyms
's contribution to Western
Cape
Use synonyms
's gross domestic product was always higher than
Service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, both of the
two
Use synonyms
 industries
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 during the whole period, except for
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 faced a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 decrease in 1996.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the development of
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 was significantly better than Services.
Although
Linking Words
 the IT
industry
Use synonyms
 confronted a decrease in 1996, which was totally less than 1%, it did not affect that IT
industry
Use synonyms
finally
Linking Words
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
rose
rise
 to almost 15%, which
exceed
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
 doubling the data
recoded
Correct your spelling
recorded
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1992 by itself.
Additionally
Linking Words
, even
the
Correct word choice
though the
show examples
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
's performance did not as bright as the IT
Correct your spelling
industry
industy
Correct your spelling
industry
, it still gradually increased from 4% to 8%
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 speed of
Correct your spelling
less
show examples
lass
Correct your spelling
less
show examples
 than 1% every
two
Use synonyms
 years
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 for the period from 1992 to 1994 which increased around 2%, Looking into the information for more details, In 1992,
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 only provided a little bit higher than 6% of
Use synonyms
GDP
Correct article usage
the GDP
show examples
 to Western
Cape
Use synonyms
 and meanwhile, the
GDP
Use synonyms
 of the companies in
Use synonyms
service
Add an article
the service
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 was
Use synonyms
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of
IT's
Change noun form
IT
show examples
 companies.
However
Linking Words
, in 2000, the firms in
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 produced almost 16% of the total Western
Cape
Use synonyms
's
GDP
Use synonyms
, which was probably 2 times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
GDP
Use synonyms
 generated by
Use synonyms
service
Add an article
the service
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jasmine2001tw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cape, two, service, industry, gdp with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Economic indicator
  • Timeframe
  • Trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Sector
  • Contribution
  • Correlation
  • Percentage
  • Increase/decrease
  • Significant
  • Policy
  • Economic crisis
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Steady
  • Overview
  • Observation
  • Speculate
  • Summarize
What to do next:
Look at other essays: