IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A friend of yours recently gave you a nice birthday present. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, – thank her for the present and say why you particularly like it – describe some other presents that you received – explain some of the things you did on your birthday.

#friend #birthday
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Rocky, I hope
this
 letter finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to thank you and express my feelings about the gift you presented
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 my
birthdayevent
Correct your spelling
birthday event
.
First,
I would like to thank you for attending the program
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
 Sunday, which was my 20th birthday,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I was over the moon as you were presented
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
beautiful iPhone 14 Pro Max which was my dream
gadgets
Fix the agreement mistake
gadget
show examples
.
This
 device has a plethora of special features particularly its design and expandable storage facilities which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
I like most. Since a number of
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my friends
also
Add a missing verb
were also
show examples
 invited
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 program, I have received numerous
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 gifts from them including
smartwatch
Correct article usage
a smartwatch
show examples
, a pair of shoes from
Adidas
Correct article usage
the Adidas
show examples
 brand, and a number of valuable books.
Thus
, I was really overwhelmed to get these gifts from my friends
as well as
 relatives. As you know, I used to play
guitar
Change the article
the guitar
show examples
 since childhood and
this
 is because I have tried to perform in the event by playing the guitar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a famous English song with a view to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
this
 birthday celebration program enjoyable. All the best. Best wishes, Messi
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear paragraphing to separate ideas. Ensure each paragraph contains a single idea or theme.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain consistency in verb tenses to provide clarity and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid repetitive sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively, such as conjunctions and referencing words.
Task Achievement
Respond to all aspects of the task in sufficient detail, covering each bullet point in the task sufficiently.
Task Achievement
Avoid informal language and inappropriate contractions for a semi-formal tone suitable for a letter to a friend.
Task Achievement
Check for and correct grammatical errors to improve the accuracy of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cherished memory
  • symbolic gesture
  • personal growth
  • unique qualities
  • unwavering support
  • profound impact
  • joy and prosperity
  • treasured moments
  • heartfelt wishes
  • lasting happiness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: