At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

In the contemporary
world
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world,
show examples
it is a common belief that the plenty of teenagers compared with the number of older
people
while
there a number of
storng
Correct your spelling
strong
arguments for
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of young
adults
on the contrary
.I believe that at present time there are huge
advantages
of teenagers outweigh the disadvantages.
How ever
Correct your spelling
However
show examples
this
essy
Correct your spelling
essay
will illustrate how
this
issue
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
to achieve
Change the verb form
achieving
show examples
. There is ample evidence suggesting that the prime
advantages
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advantage
show examples
of young
adults
is that they contribute significantly
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
.
Also
young generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more educated and that's why they are the main driving force.A recent survey conducted by the
daily stary
Correct your spelling
Daily Stary
show examples
, the prominent newspaper of Bangladesh reported that there is 92.3%
young
Change preposition
of young
show examples
people
are
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
part of many different sites of
workshop
Fix the agreement mistake
workshops
show examples
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
government and private sectors
On the contrary
,having a large number of young
adults
population
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
lots of benefits for a country and society.
Also
younger need more facilities for
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
sector and
also
job
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jobs
show examples
too.
On the other
hand
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hand,
show examples
they had to
taking
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take
show examples
care of older
people
.Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
older
people
have lots of experience. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
it is clear that
older
people
have lots of experience and younger
adults
have
lot's
Change the noun form
lots
lot
show examples
of facilities to do. I believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of young
adults
outweigh the disadvantages of older
people
Submitted by ilhanctg2019 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and support that idea with examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Aim to organize your paragraphs coherently. Begin each one with a topic sentence that signals the content of the paragraph, and ensure all sentences within the paragraph are related to this topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to show the relationship between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Both the advantages and disadvantages should be discussed equally, and your opinion should be clear.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with explanations and relevant, specific examples. Avoid making generalizations without support.
coherence cohesion
For a higher band score, avoid repetitive sentence structures, and aim to write complex sentences that accurately convey your ideas.
task achievement
In your introduction, paraphrase the question to set the context of the discussion and state your main argument or opinion. This will help in addressing the task achievement criterion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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