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Band 4.5

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

#children #vegetables #animals
In today's world, the topic
about
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of
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 primary students' duties is often
discused
Correct your spelling
discussed
 by
the
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apply
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society. Many people who live in
the
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apply
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rural areas indicate that already
schooldchildren's
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schoolchildren's
 basic knowledge about how to grow
vegetables
 or take care of animals can really be a huge aid for them.
This
 essay will try to outline the merits of possessing
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the above
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above indicated
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above-indicated
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 actions to some extent.
To begin
 with, pupils who can do rural
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
such
 as planting vegetable garden trees or feeding and supervising domestic animals may reduce their parent's work.To be more clear, villagers put too much effort in order to complete those
works
 as it requires energy and
patient
Replace the word
patience
show examples
,
while
kids
 who have a huge amount of power may do the work and help parents to lounge.
Hence
, at an early age
kids
 may do those
works
 and be useful for the family and for the villagers as well.
Furthermore
, nowadays fewer and fewer villagers are
intested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in farming and how to be livestock
manager
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managers
show examples
, so including those things
teaching
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in the primary
schools
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school
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curriculuam
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curriculum
 will enhance the importance of
the
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apply
show examples
rural
works
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work
show examples
 among
kids
 and they may be completely aware of the procedures
how
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for how
show examples
 to grow
vegetables
 correctly.
Thus
, it can be very
benefical
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beneficial
 for
human-beings
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human beings
show examples
 as they may have young companions who are willing to assist them and
also
 teach them new tricks
how
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on how
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 to increment the quality of
vegetables
 in terms of planting. Taking everything into account, learning how to grow
vegetables
 and keeping animals can definitely have a good influence on
kids
 who
lives
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live
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especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 in
the
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apply
show examples
rural areas as they might help their parents and relatives to name just a few and
also
 increase the quality of
vegetables
 to some degree.
Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction includes a thesis statement that clearly outlines your position and what the essay will discuss. This will give the reader a better sense of direction.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear structure by dividing your essay into paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by specific examples or explanations. This will enhance the essay's clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Avoid repetitions and aim for a smooth flow of ideas for better coherence.
task achievement
Address the question directly in each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall argument or position on the topic.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by offering more detailed information. Specific real-world examples can greatly enhance your argument and provide clear evidence for your points.
task achievement
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion. This provides a clear ending to your essay and reinforces your argument to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable practices
  • cultural literacy
  • hands-on experience
  • nutritional awareness
  • curriculum integration
  • time management
  • resource allocation
  • school gardening projects
  • animal husbandry
  • ecosystem education
  • dietary habits
  • work ethic
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