IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Intro para practice where 5 questions are considered to practice the intro paragraph writing skills. It will be checked seperately.

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1. Crypto coins have been leading the new global currency, even more
people
Use synonyms
 are getting used
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
these attractive way
Change the determiner
this attractive way
these attractive ways
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 paying doubts, investing in projects and making transferences to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house's
Change noun form
house
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 groceries.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are another group of persons who think these crypto coins are a new modality for committing fraud and
disguise
Wrong verb form
disguising
show examples
Ponsi's
Correct your spelling
Ponzi's
 scheme. In
this
Linking Words
 ponence, we will deep
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the advantages and disadvantages of using virtual cash and a personal opinion will be added. 2. Stress in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 is
one
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
of the
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 top
concerning
Verb problem
apply
show examples
things employers want to avoid in order to benefit the health of the employee.
As a result
Linking Words
,
welfare
Correct article usage
the welfare
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department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
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had
Wrong verb form
have
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 been
creating
Wrong verb form
created
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 since the statistics
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
mental
Add an article
the mental
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 status of workers show high levels of stress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, quite
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some employees
tell
Verb problem
say
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 that these strategies are useless and even more stressful than ever
due to
Linking Words
 lack of time. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will
demostrate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
 why
this
Linking Words
 thinking is wrong, and I will prove the advantages of having a welfare department as a method for
eliminate
Change the verb form
eliminating
show examples
 laboral illnesses. 3. The public transportation in Colombia is
one
Use synonyms
 of the worst in the world, specifically
the
Change preposition
in the
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 capital city: Bogotá DC. Homeless
people
Use synonyms
 getting illegally in, quite a few better-off
people
Use synonyms
 disputing a bunch of seats,
extreme
Change the word
extremely
show examples
 high pollution levels, unfinished traffic jams, and hundreds of roads in bad conditions are some of the
commonly
Change the adverb
common
show examples
 problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life. With the aim of giving solutions to
this
Linking Words
 beautiful city, I wrote
this
Linking Words
 thesis to provide positive changes for the community. 4. Undoubtedly, YouTube channels are the new television of
this
Linking Words
 generation, the kids
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time leisuring
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
show examples
 watching videos about tutorials, tops and trendy topics.
Besides
Linking Words
, streaming services have been increasing
due to
Linking Words
 influencers which
discover
Wrong verb form
discovered
show examples
 a new way to communicate with their followers. It should be noted, that children don't have any supervision from
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 parents.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, naughty
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
perception of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality are quite distorsionated. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will show the negative consequences of giving freedom in the use of social media and give my opinion about why these should be forbidden. 5. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe in science but are attracted by far-fetched conspiracy ideas based
firstly
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
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 speculation.
One
Use synonyms
 of the greatest discussions is about the primitive history of the earth, considering that our existence is
due to
Linking Words
 aliens. The objective of
this
Linking Words
 article is
describe
Fix the infinitive
to describe
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 the history of life
in
Change preposition
on
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earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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 based on scientific facts, the bygone era will be told with accuracy taking
in
Change preposition
into
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 account geological factors and chemical methods.
Finally
Linking Words
, conspiracy ideas will be taken
one
Use synonyms
 by
one
Use synonyms
 showing the weaknesses in each thesis and proving why are wrong. I conceive
this
Linking Words
 writing as a way to remind the community
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 importance of
read
Change the verb form
reading
show examples
 true information and
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
 fake news.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that your ideas flow naturally from one to the next. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument. Consistency in tense and voice can enhance clarity and coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but consider tying them together more explicitly. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your thesis in light of the arguments made within the body of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your main points are supported, strive to develop your arguments further with specific examples and data where possible. This strengthens your position and provides tangible evidence for your claims.
Task Achievement
Make sure your response is complete by addressing all parts of the prompt. Ensure that your essay discusses each aspect thoroughly, providing a balanced and comprehensive view.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear, but to improve comprehensiveness, expand on your explanations and connect them back to the prompt more explicitly. This demonstrates a deep understanding of the topic and ensures that all components of the task are addressed.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to illustrate your ideas. Examples help to concretize abstract concepts and can make your argument more persuasive and your essay more engaging to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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