Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#people #work #study #countries #situation

The number of college students who tend to

travel

overseas for

study

or work has gone higher recently which is a positive thing as it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them to have personal development and

also

, different

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

exposure .

frist

Correct your spelling

First

, personal development is one of the positive reasons as When student

travel

for

Change preposition

show examples

study

or work at

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age the majority of them

travel

alone so they have to rely only on themself to face different

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

show examples

challenges in a new environment , that means becoming self-independent

as a result

they

becom

Correct your spelling

become

more confidence in them self and their, abilities

for example

18 years old student in some Arabic countries who have never

travel

before feels more developed and mature after going to

study

abroad .

on the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

different

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

exposure is another positive thing about it, as individuals will see different cultures taste their food and try their traditional costumes , learn how to speak their languages , learn about some of their beliefs and respect the

reglation

Correct your spelling

regulation

in that country

as a result

they become

open-mindedd

Correct your spelling

open-minded

about it , accepting multiple cultures perspective , having

such

a cultural awareness .even when they leave back to their countries . for

instence

Correct your spelling

instance

in some countries

fridays

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Fridays

show examples

is a weekend

holidays

Correct the article-noun agreement

holiday

show examples

so shops would open half day only so

forenirs

Correct your spelling

foreigners

forensics

gose

Correct your spelling

goes

as well as

locals to buy their needs early . Being abroad for

short

Add an article

a short

show examples

period to

study

or work has become popular among

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation , which is positive in my opinion as

Change preposition

apply

show examples

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

to their personal development

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

chance for culture exposer

Submitted by hebadyala on Thu Jan 18 2024

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structure

It's crucial to have a clear structure to your essay with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your essay lacked a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve, always start with a paragraph that introduces the topic and your view on it. Finish with a concluding paragraph that summarises your main points and restates your position.

coherence

Aim to present your ideas clearly and develop them coherently over the course of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs. Also, consider varying your sentence structures to improve readability and flow. Avoid run-on sentences and employ a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.

cohesion

Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Introduce this idea at the beginning of the paragraph, then use the rest of the paragraph to develop it with explanations, examples, and arguments. Avoid mixing different ideas within the same paragraph, as this can be confusing for the reader.

task achievement

Make sure to answer all parts of the question. Your response should clearly state whether you believe working or studying abroad is positive or negative, and explain why. Provide relevant examples to support your points, ensuring they are detailed enough to effectively demonstrate your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Fully explain your ideas

What young people should study at school has long been the subject of intense debate and this is a question that certainly does not have one correct answer.

Everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of separate rooms for work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?