IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the unemployment rate and the number of people leaving Ireland from 1988 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line chart illustrates the proportion of unemployed
people
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of emigrants from
this
Linking Words
 country from 1998 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were downward trends in the level of unemployment in the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for
people
Use synonyms
 leaving Ireland experienced a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 increase compared to the first year of the
period
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the proportion of those who were unemployed witnessed a sharp decrease from 1998 to 2002. In detail, there were under 17% of unemployed individuals in the year 1998,
then
Linking Words
 significantly dropped to over 12%.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rate quickly soared to nearly the same level of 1998, before declining to under 6%. A similar tendency could be seen in the
number
Use synonyms
 of Ireland’s emigrants.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 showed a significant increase from around 30,000
people
Use synonyms
 to 60,000
people
Use synonyms
 in the first 2 years of the
period
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 choosing to leave Ireland was 3 times lower than that in the previous year. Looking at the rest, the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2008, these lines experienced upward trends.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Ireland’s rate of unemployment slightly went up and finished at the rate of roughly 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, individuals leaving the island nation slowly was broadly stable at around 20,000
people
Use synonyms
 before a sharp uptick over the final four years at the level of up to 40,000
people
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, number, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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