Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefits are in the world of business. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It certainly can not be denied that International cooperation takes many steps to protect their environment, and they are
abvious
, as life has become easier and more convenient. Correct your spelling
obvious
However
, some people feel that the main benefits are in the world business. It surely is debatable and both views seems
to hold water. But before coming to a Change the verb form
seem
reasonal
conclusion, let us discuss both views.
On the one hand, there could be a myriad of reasons why some people say that foreign aid works with the help of other countries to save the things Correct your spelling
reasonable
that
is
very important to survive. Change the verb form
are
Moreover
, A good example to explain this
is our Prime Minister invited thirty four
Add a hyphen
thirty-four
countrie's
Change noun form
countries
head
Fix the agreement mistake
heads
into
the G20 program in New Delhi Change preposition
to
last
year, to discuss on
the many important documentaries. Change preposition
apply
According to
an artical
published in The Tribune, a leading national newspaper in India, studies have shown that every foreign was very excited and Correct your spelling
article
want
to see all unity to work for the environment.
Wrong verb form
wanted
On the other hand
, some people might feel that these types of meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
is
only for business benefits. It Change the verb form
are
is probably believe
so because Change the verb form
is probably believed
department
works very Correct article usage
the department
slow
and it takes too much time to implement. Change the word
slowly
As well as
,
Remove the comma
apply
population
can not believe Add an article
the population
a population
on
fake commitments.
In conclusion, since both viewpoints hold water, it is difficult to favour one argument. But I do feel that every government Change preposition
in
takes
Correct your spelling
makes
best
Correct article usage
the best
decission
to protect Correct your spelling
decision
decisions
their
public from environmental situations, and that should be very important to do.Change the word
the
Submitted by vmretail14 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction
Your introduction provides a reasonable base for the essay, but it lacks a specific thesis statement articulating your own viewpoint. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction to address the prompt effectively.
Body Paragraphs
In the body paragraphs, aim to develop each viewpoint with specific examples and clear explanations. The content could be improved by expanding on the reasons behind each viewpoint and by supporting these reasons with concrete examples, which were somewhat lacking.
Logical Structure
You should work on developing a more logical structure by organizing your ideas more effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details.
Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, which clarify the main point of the paragraph and make the essay more cohesive.
Conclusion
The conclusion should summarize both views discussed and restate your own opinion more emphatically. Also, avoid introducing new reasons or arguments in your conclusion.
Examples
Providing relevant, specific examples is crucial for substantiating your points and increasing the persuasive power of your essay. Try to incorporate more detailed examples that are directly related to the viewpoints discussed.
Task Response
Ensure that the discussion of both views and your opinion is balanced. The essay should also fully respond to all parts of the prompt, including a clear discussion of both views and a detailed explanation of your own position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!