IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

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Introduction
A lot of
parents
Use synonyms
 now
has
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have
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 gone for homeschooling rather than sending them to traditional schools ,
Body · 1
In my opinion benefit of homeschooling is
out wight
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outweigh
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 the
draw back
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drawback
show examples
 as
if
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it
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offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
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 personalized learning for
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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as well as
Linking Words
 individual attention .
Body · 2
Home schooling
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Homeschooling
show examples
 can provide personalized learning for
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student
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students
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 that can add more help ,
Body · 3
Personalized learning means having
tailored
Correct article usage
a tailored
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 curriculum for every
student
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according to
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 their preferred style and interest ,
means
Correct pronoun usage
which means
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become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 flexible which
lead
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leads
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 to effective and enjoyable learning for
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student
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students
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 who struggle at school
Body · 4
For
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example
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example,
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 if the
student
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 is
visual
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a visual
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 learner his
parents
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 could add more visual aids and
hands on
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hands-on
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activity
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activities
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 to their lessons .
Body · 5
Another advantage of homeschooling is individual attention
Body · 6
Buy
parents
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 have
Add a hyphen
one-to-one
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one-to one
Add a hyphen
one-to-one
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 daily instruction and guiding them when
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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this
Linking Words
 helps the
parents
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 to spot their
children
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children's
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 weaknesses and strengths so they can provide more support
at
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in
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 subjects
Body · 7
For instance
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 if the
student
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 having
Correct article usage
apply
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a
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apply
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difficulties
Change preposition
with
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on
Change preposition
with
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 one subject the
parents
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 could dedicate more time
an
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and
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sources
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resources
show examples
Change preposition
to
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for
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 subject .
Conclusion
Homeschooling advantages outweigh the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 as
parents
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 could have personalized learning
plan
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plans
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as well as
Linking Words
 individual attention for
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 during the
lesons
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lessons
lesson
.

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introduction
Consider starting with a more engaging introduction that clearly presents your position on the topic and includes a clear thesis statement outlining the main points you will discuss.
paragraph structure
To achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, it's essential to organize your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea presented in a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence where appropriate.
linking words
Use a wider range of linking phrases and discourse markers to improve the flow of the essay and to make the relationships between ideas clearer. Currently, the essay does not make use of these cohesively.
examples
When giving examples, ensure they are relevant and well-explained. Expanding on the examples with more details can make your argument stronger.
balanced response
For task achievement, attempt to present a more balanced argument when the question asks for a discussion of both benefits and drawbacks. Addressing both sides of the issue can lead to a more complete response.
grammar and spelling
Double-check your work for spelling, grammatical accuracy, and punctuation. Errors in these areas can significantly impact the readability of the essay.
conclusion
Make sure to have a conclusion that reiterates your main points and clearly states your final standpoint on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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