Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #athletes #role #models #behavior #field #influence

In modern society today, the impact of sports professionals on young people has been debated in public.

Although

some believe that these sportsmen serve as positive icons, others argue that their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

can have negative effects. In my point of view, despite the negative, these

athletes

are still generally positive mentors for the generations. Admittedly, certain elite

athletes

express negative

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

that can impact on social and their fans.

Firstly

, some sports professionals might associated with drugs, violence, or other forms of unacceptable that can harm individuals.

Furthermore

, highly competitive sports and a lot of pressure can cause

athletes

to show on-field negative

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. These negative actions can adversely impact the receptive minds of young people who may see these sportsmen as

role

models

Conversely

, there are several reasons why

athletes

serve as positive

role

models

. Pro

athletes

often overcome adversity,

display

Correct word choice

and display

show examples

dedication, discipline, and hard work, which can inspire young individuals to achieve their goals. The positive influence of these

role

models

extends beyond the field, as many

athletes

engage in charitable activities, contributing to the well-being of society.

Such

actions can

instill

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instil

show examples

valuable values in the younger generation. After considering both perspectives, I strongly believe that professional

athletes

do serve as positive

role

models

for the generations.

However

, by providing specific examples of inspiring

athletes

and addressing any drawbacks, a balance between admiration and critical thinking can be maintained.

Submitted by gammxoxo on Thu Jan 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

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Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly throughout the essay.

task achievement

Ensure a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before giving your opinion in the conclusion.

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Enrich your essay by including more specific examples which will help reinforce your arguments and illustrate your points more convincingly.

task achievement

When you state your own opinion, make sure to support it with clear reasons and exemplification.

Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
determination
discipline
work ethic
community service
charitable activities
poor behavior
unsportsmanlike conduct
media scrutiny
public perception
materialism
physical and mental health issues
impressionable youth
high levels
pursuing sports
positive influence
negative influence

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Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Recent research has shown that media like the Internet and TV have a greater influence over people’s lives than politicians. Which do you consider to be the greater influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

many employees are able to work at home due to modern tech. some people claim that it can benefit only the workers not employers. is it a positive or negative ?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing population.