It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn about this distinction To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

It is essential for
children
to learn about right and wrong things. Because at an early age, they do not have
experience
Change the article
the experience
show examples
to differentiate it. So it is necessary to teach the distinction by using punishments.
This
essay
agree
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agrees
show examples
with
this
statement because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
children
lack
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
ability and hormonal imbalance.
Children
are poor at
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
because of their inexperience and
lack
of knowledge about
decide
Change the verb form
deciding
show examples
whether it is right or wrong.
However
,
parents
and teachers play an important role as a guide to help the
children
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
understand the difference by using some sort of punishment.
For example
, nowadays
children
lacks
Change the verb form
lack
show examples
focus on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
because of distractions around them like
videogames
Correct your spelling
video games
show examples
and mobile devices.
They
Add a verb
They are
They were
show examples
addicted to
this
platform because of their poor decisions to focus on activities which does not provide any kind
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
value.
Furthermore
, in earlier childhood days they go through
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of hormonal changes.
This
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
the child's ability to differentiate things so it is essential to communicate and teach them good habits by using sort of punishment.
For instance
, countries like Ireland
lack
restrictions for
children
to use drugs,
Change preposition
At in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
early age they do not know about drugs and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
impact at all so,
parents
should punish their
children
to get out of bad behaviour.
Moreover
,
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
to teach and guide
children
about good behaviour.
Parents
should use some punishment to teach it by restricting the use of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mobile devices.
Likewise
, teachers should punish them
to teach
Change preposition
for teaching
show examples
good behaviour by
suspend
Wrong verb form
suspending
show examples
and
dismiss
Replace the word
dismissing them
show examples
from schools. In conclusion,
children
lack
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to differentiate right and wrong things and their hormonal changes so I agree that it is necessary for teachers and
parents
to teach them good habits by using sort of punishments.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction establishes a clear opinion and sets the stage for the arguments to follow.
structure
Work on providing a clear logical structure to your arguments, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
examples
Support main points with specific, relevant examples to effectively illustrate your arguments.
task response
Aim to develop a clearer, more nuanced position, acknowledging other viewpoints where appropriate.
cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
conclusion
Craft a conclusion that restates your opinion and summarizes the main points made in the essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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