IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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Some
people
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 believe that young
people
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 should be required to participate in social
work
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 during their free time to benefit both the individual and
society
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. I agree with
this
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 idea and will explain why in the following paragraphs. The first reason to support mandatory social
work
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 for young
people
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 is the positive impact it can have on the community. When young
people
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 get involved in their community, it can lead to significant development in various areas.
For example
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, providing free education to illiterate individuals can greatly benefit
society
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.
Therefore
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, it is important for the younger generation to contribute to
society
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. Another reason to support mandatory social
work
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 is the positive effect it can have on the individual's life. By helping others, young
people
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 can develop a sense of humanity and compassion. Sharing knowledge with others can
also
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 enhance their own understanding and improve their lifestyle. In conclusion, requiring young
people
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 to participate in social
work
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 during their free time can lead to significant benefits for both the individual and
society
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. It can promote development and improve the quality of life for everyone involved.
Therefore
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, I support
this
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 idea.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas more fully by providing more detailed explanations, specific examples, and evidence to support your argument. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and persuade the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices and appropriate paragraphing. Clear topic sentences can guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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