IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
Some
people
 believe that young
people
 should be required to participate in social
work
 during their free time to benefit both the individual and
society
. I agree with
this
 idea and will explain why in the following paragraphs. The first reason to support mandatory social
work
 for young
people
 is the positive impact it can have on the community. When young
people
 get involved in their community, it can lead to significant development in various areas.
For example
, providing free education to illiterate individuals can greatly benefit
society
.
Therefore
, it is important for the younger generation to contribute to
society
. Another reason to support mandatory social
work
 is the positive effect it can have on the individual's life. By helping others, young
people
 can develop a sense of humanity and compassion. Sharing knowledge with others can
also
 enhance their own understanding and improve their lifestyle. In conclusion, requiring young
people
 to participate in social
work
 during their free time can lead to significant benefits for both the individual and
society
. It can promote development and improve the quality of life for everyone involved.
Therefore
, I support
this
 idea.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas more fully by providing more detailed explanations, specific examples, and evidence to support your argument. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and persuade the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices and appropriate paragraphing. Clear topic sentences can guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: