Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this pratice?

Nowadays some
children
spend their leisure
time
watching
TV
shows programs, It appears that positive and negative of
this
event.
This
essay will provide both points of view about that statement. On the one hand, there are a lot of advantages to watching
TV
.
Firstly
,
children
receive a mount of information that they cannot get at primary school. People watch the news or educational content to learn about anything all around the world not only happening in their country.
secondly
, there is a commonly attractive education for
children
to add their knowledge.
For instance
,
TV
programs who explaining about how products can be produced
such
as production
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cheese, clothes, and so on.
Moreover
, Television can be provided with more acceptable for kids.
On the other hand
,
children
who excessively spend their
time
watching
TV
also
have disadvantages.
For example
,
children
can lose their
time
to socialize with others and
this
becomes a problem because the kids lose
time
to play. which is disadvantageous for
children
's development because
children
In addition
,
Children
should play with the same age for physical development. They should be more active and rise normally. In conclusion, Television gives some positive things to
children
with learning content.
However
,
Children
are
also
restricted from watching a lot because
children
should socialize with friends nearby house to develop their motorist and intelligence.
Submitted by fiez97 on

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Task Achievement
To improve in task achievement, it's important to directly address the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The response should clearly state a position and have a more focused and organized development of that position. Ensure that both sides are discussed but also clearly conclude which side is stronger based on the arguments presented.
Coherence & Cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, develop clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas. Aim for a more structured approach to paragraphing, with clear introductions and conclusions for each paragraph.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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