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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In many nations, owning a
home
Use synonyms
 rather than renting one is essential for humans.
Overall
Linking Words
, I personally argue that it depends on the situation of the
people
Use synonyms
 who are living and the opportunity of background financial. Looking for more details? There are several benefits to owning a
home
Use synonyms
 in the biggest cities.
First,
Linking Words
if the citizens stay in the biggest cities, there are rich
people
Use synonyms
 because owning a
home
Use synonyms
 in the capital
city
Use synonyms
 is costly.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if the citizens who are staying and living in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 have the biggest house and the biggest land for farming, they will feel confident and safe with their own property for a long time.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 own land for agriculture and farming,
whereas
Linking Words
 humans living in capital cities own homes because they have a lot of money for investment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the cons of owning a
home
Use synonyms
 in a capital
city
Use synonyms
 are the highest tax and the cost of construction.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the crowded traffic and lack of polite use of land by the government made the regulation low.
However
Linking Words
, the few
people
Use synonyms
 who are living in remote
areas
Use synonyms
 are making the rate of population the lowest compared to the capital
city
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
kompas news
Correct your spelling
Kompas News
show examples
 found that 20% of the population in the capital
city
Use synonyms
 owns a
home
Use synonyms
, compared to 80% of
people
Use synonyms
 renting apartments in suburban
areas
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the members of society who are living and staying for owning homes and renting are dependent on their
financial
Replace the word
finances
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 and their capacity for needs.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. You have started discussing the topic straight away without a clear introduction that sets the stage for your essay.
coherence
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly and demonstrate logical sequencing. This will strengthen the cohesion of your essay.
coherence
Work on paragraph structure by having a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence that summarizes the main idea. This will enhance the logical structure of your writing.
task achievement
Provide equal development for both sides of the argument. Present a more balanced view by discussing both the positives and negatives with supporting examples to create a more comprehensive response.
lexical resource
Be mindful of repetition of words and ideas. Try to use synonyms and rephrase sentences to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid redundancy.
conclusion
Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and clearly restates your viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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