Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
There is an ongoing
debate
circulating on whether adolescents should be allowed to have mobile phones
. I think both sides of the debate
present some considerations that are totally understandable which makes it an interesting topic to be talked about.
The main concern why young people need to be refrained
from having Wrong verb form
refrain
phones
is because there is a tendency for them to get addicted and attached to their phones
. There are a lot of fun and intriguing activities offered by the technology. They could access streaming platforms, games, and social networking applications with their phones
. Those activities could steal most of their time and Wrong verb form
detach
detached
them from Wrong verb form
detach
Correct article usage
apply
the
real life which will be very concerning and bad for their social life.
Speaking from experience, having Correct article usage
apply
phones
could benefit children on
their studies and help them to communicate with their parents. I used to struggle a lot in Mathematics, Change preposition
in
thankfully
one mobile application made it possible for me to pass that subject. The application could capture and solve an equation whenever I was stuck on Correct word choice
but thankfully
a certain mathematics questions
. Not only that, having Correct the article-noun agreement
certain mathematics questions
a certain mathematics question
phones
made it easier for my parents to reach me through messaging applications or with one call away. It also
went the other way around.
The debate
on whether children should be given a phone or not will always be an ongoing debate
with no end since the pros and cons have their own strong stances. What is clear is that when children are trusted with phones
, the older ones have to teach them on
how to use them wisely so that they could benefit from them and Change preposition
apply
to
not develop a bad habit that could affect their quality of life.Change preposition
apply
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Support and Development
Develop your main points more extensively. Each point you raised, such as addiction and the benefits for studies, could be explored in more detail with more examples or explanations.
Structure
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Aim for a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed coherently.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion. Make sure to state the topic and your opinion more clearly in the introduction and summarise your main points in the conclusion.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively and improve the cohesion of your essay.
Task Response
Make sure you respond to all parts of the task equally. In this essay, more focus on the reasons behind each viewpoint and a clearer statement of your own opinion would strengthen your task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.