IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In some nations,
home
Use synonyms
 ownership is crucial for the individuals and they prefer to live in their own
home
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of a rental one.
This
Linking Words
, clearly, has certain underlying reasons, and I believe it solves more problems than it creates. To achieve a clear picture;
this
Linking Words
 matter requires
further
Linking Words
 examination
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a broader context. In recent times,
home
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 ownership has become a serious matter for people, and they prefer to live in their own
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 no matter how small it is. One reason given for
this
Linking Words
 is that people feel more comfortable when they live in their own
home
Use synonyms
 and they do not have to fear
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 landlord. Many renters
complaint
Replace the word
complain
show examples
 about the issue that they cannot change the decoration and design of the
house
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, which is a big problem.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by buying a
house
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 or apartment a large amount of money would be saved monthly, so purchasing a
house
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 can be financially beneficial too. There are several positive aspects
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 buying a
house
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; it is, indeed, a kind of investment with lots of advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recessions, which is usual in today's modern world, many landlords increase the rent prices, so by having a
home
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 issue would be solved.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the value of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 will
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 with the rise of inflation rates,
therefore
Linking Words
 it
economically
Add a missing verb
is economically
show examples
 beneficial.
Finally
Linking Words
, houses can be a good inheritance for the next generation. The salient point to note here is that in
this
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 way people can make a memorial for their children and that accommodation would be their souvenir. In conclusion, as far as renting a
house
Use synonyms
 could be problematic, owning one is so advantageous and it is financially and emotionally beneficial.
Submitted by alifarzaneh on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully address both parts of the question; explain why home ownership might be important and discuss its positive and negative aspects. Some points may require further development.
task achievement
Provide clear examples to support your points. Rather than general statements, offer specific instances that illustrate the benefits or drawbacks of home ownership.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with appropriate linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Edges of paragraphs can be smoothed by ensuring each connects with the preceding ideas or arguments presented, making the essay feel more cohesive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: