IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Globally, not all
countries
Use synonyms
stands
Change the verb form
stand
show examples
 on the same stage financially. Some
countries
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 more financial power than other
countries
Use synonyms
.
Nations
Use synonyms
 having more wealth tend to help poor
nations
Use synonyms
 in the form of
Use synonyms
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
, grants, loans and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
.
These
Fix the agreement mistake
This aid
show examples
aids
Use synonyms
 for poor
countries
Use synonyms
 made to make them independent and financially better. The effects of poverty in poor
countries
Use synonyms
 are very dangerous like high influence rate,
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
 layout, recession , shortage of food and resources. wealthy
nations
Use synonyms
 provide financial
Use synonyms
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 to needy
nations
Use synonyms
 to improve their financial condition,
On the
Linking Words
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
show examples
 it seems several times in history despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial support, These regions are enable to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. It means
, The
Correct your spelling
that the
 support they require is not only for money but they should be taught how to use that aid for
Use synonyms
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 growth. Let's consider one instance, Pakistan is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 poor
nation
Use synonyms
. The
nation
Use synonyms
's GDP is very low that effects can be seen through
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 influence rate, which is more than 200%. Pakistan
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 suffering from poverty of
last
Linking Words
 more than 2 decades, and Always
ask
Correct subject-verb agreement
asks
show examples
financial
Change preposition
for financial
show examples
 aid from the
USA
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
 government. It
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been seen
,
Correct word choice
that, USA
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
also
Linking Words
 helped so many
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 Pakistan through financial
Use synonyms
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 but the poverty of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
is seemed
Change to the active voice
seems
has seemed
show examples
 to be increasing. So, In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 I disagree with the statement, "Rich country giving financial help to poor
countries
Use synonyms
 for
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 of that country". In conclusion, I think apart from the money
help
Fix the infinitive
to help
show examples
 or aid to the poor
countries
Use synonyms
, Rich
countries
Use synonyms
 should provide them
resources
Change preposition
with resources
show examples
 and supplies, and teach them how to manage
Use synonyms
nation's
Correct pronoun usage
their nation's
show examples
 resources for future growth and development.
Submitted by khatrisumeet400 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the question of whether providing non-financial aid is more beneficial than financial aid, and to what extent you agree or disagree with this. Providing clear examples and explanations to support your position will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structuring to have a clear introduction, a body with distinct and well-developed ideas, and a conclusion that effectively summarises your perspective. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, topic sentences) to connect your ideas more clearly and improve readability.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: