IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #trials #television
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One
draw back
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drawback
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that is
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 frequently mentioned regarding showing criminal trials on
televion
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television
 for the public is about the security of the
people
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 involved in the case shown, because they can be
social
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socially
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 judged and followed by public opinion.
However
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this
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 could be mitigated, the benefits of
this
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 practice outweigh the drawbacks. Is a fact that showing a criminal judgment with real
people
Use synonyms
at
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on
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 a television show can cause a super exposition of the
involveds
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involved
involves
at
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in
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 the case. And with
this
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, the public watching the TV show can have
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own judgment of the case, and
acttualy
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actually
 follow the
involveds
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involved
 in a bad way, generating a lot of
psicological
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psychological
 and practical problems
to
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in
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 these
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 lives. In
dispite
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spite
 of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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disavantagens
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disadvantages
disadvantage
, showing
this
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 kind of program
at
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on
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 TV has some advantages. As normal
people
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 can shadow how is a real criminal process guided, step by step in
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
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. It allows to the public
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
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 how the criminals are judged
an
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and
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 how the laws work in fact. And
also
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 is good for students, of
lawer
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law
 or not, to be
familiarizated
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familiarized
 with
this
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 process and think about going on a
carrer
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career
carrier
 like
this
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.
Consequently
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, real criminal TV shows for
general
Add an article
the general
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 public can be a good
a
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apply
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idea to
aproximate
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approximate
 the general public to the laws and
the
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apply
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justice, but
its
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it's
it is
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 very important to preserve the identity of the
people
Use synonyms
 involved
in
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apply
show examples
the prevent them
being
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from being
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persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
from
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by
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social judgment.
Submitted by danielejaegger on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction more clearly presents the topic, and includes a thesis statement that outlines your main points. Your conclusion should summarily reinforce your thesis and main arguments.
Task Achievement
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea, followed by specific examples or explanations to support it. Be sure to consistently relate back to the question throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve logical flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices (such as 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' 'in contrast,' etc.) to link ideas more clearly. Make sure paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review your essay for clarity and conciseness. Aim to express your ideas as clearly as possible without unnecessary repetition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transparency
  • public oversight
  • judicial system
  • educational value
  • privacy concerns
  • re-traumatizing
  • juror behavior
  • fairness
  • public opinion
  • media sensationalism
  • impartiality
  • economic benefits
  • legal proceedings
  • misinterpretation
  • broadcasters
  • legal institutions
What to do next:
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