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Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #range #household #goods #television #microwave #oven #rice #cooker #development
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These days, technology has been developing immediately, so we have new products that help people to have easier lives;
as a result
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, the number of buying household goods that aid the population
to
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in
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 doing their work faster or about their entertainment devices is climbing. In my opinion, these tools have several benefits;
however
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, it is a negative development
due to
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 the fact that these facilities will increase environmental damage and reduce quality. On the one hand, if you buy a range of
things
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 that are new, you will throw out your latest gadgets; in fact, you add the Earth's trash buy these work;
moreover
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, unfortunately,
this
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 garbage is not related to other
things
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 that are perfect for buying, yet they get areas of environment and injuring other creature.
For instance
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, you can go to the jangles or deserts that are far from humans' residential places and see a
lot
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 of waste that affects wild animals' lifestyles.
On the other hand
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, if companies want to show new
things
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 every year,
then
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 the quality becomes low. In other words, it is essential that businessmen like to sell everything and they need new tools to demonstrate;
then
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 they do not spend a
lot
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 of time on the qualities inasmuch as equipment is a more important factor. To illustrate, Samsung's new phones have a
lot
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 of
things
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 that are nice
such
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 as the camera, a new Android, and so on;
nevertheless
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, their qualities are not like prior generations and they have a
lot
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 of issues after many times.
To sum up
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, new technology has a
lot
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 of merits that help us to have perfect lives;
although
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, their drawbacks can eclipse the advantages on account of the fact that our environment and qualities are crucial items in our lives.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Your essay's main points are clear and relevant, but they could benefit from deeper explanation and more specific examples to support them.
coherence cohesion
Some paragraphs lack a smooth flow due to awkward sentence constructions. Consider rewriting some sentences for better clarity and to improve the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and stays on point throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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