Large number of subject with large number of knowledge or smaller number of subjects with great detail cover. provide 2 views and your own opinion.

It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
is still
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
debate in society
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
students
need to learn more
things
to gain more knowledge or stick with fewer
subjects
to get more knowledge on certain parts.
This
essay will elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
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motions
as well as
give related illustrations before I state my view.
To begin
with, learners who experienced more fields in several areas tend to have open minds
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
they get exposed
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
all
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
knowledge.
This
phenomenon is
benefecial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for many learners as it will push them to be explorers and enrich their studying journey.
For instance
, communication science
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
in many universities allow the
students
to learn not only about human interaction and its behaviour, but
also
give them materials about law, psychology, and media which can support their main subject.
Hence
, I see that
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
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aspect of materials
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
needed to acknowledge the
students
in order to motivate them
on trying
Change preposition
to try
show examples
new
things
and push them out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
their comfort zones.
However
, many
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
to choose
smaller
Add an article
the smaller
a smaller
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
of
subjects
so they can focus on what they prioritize the most.
This
is because
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of people find that it is better to be
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
in specific aspects, compared with learning
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
things
that mostly only make them have decent skills in each stuff.
For example
, engineering
students
are highly educated in
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
as well as
electricity as those two topics are the only
things
that are relevant for their study, in contradictory with theatre kids
where
Correct word choice
who
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to be exposed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
several
subjects
that are related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the characters they play in. I believe that to dive in more into specific
subjects
can
be
Verb problem
make it
show examples
easier to improve their understanding and better
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practical experience which will be great for their future careers.
To sum up
, neither of the motions
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
each
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
all depends on
students
' choices on deciding to have
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
understanding by learning the materials from many perspectives or learning the exact
subjects
so they can be more expert
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
areas.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, which is then developed with specific examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring paragraphs effectively, with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that develop the main point.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay. This includes linking phrases, synonyms, and reference words.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points, rather than hypothetical or general statements.
task achievement
Balance your essay by spending equal time on each viewpoint and your own opinion to ensure a fully developed response.

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