IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Large number of subject with large number of knowledge or smaller number of subjects with great detail cover. provide 2 views and your own opinion.

#subjects #detail
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
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 is still
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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debate in society
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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students
 need to learn more
things
 to gain more knowledge or stick with fewer
subjects
 to get more knowledge on certain parts.
This
 essay will elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
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 motions
as well as
 give related illustrations before I state my view.
To begin
 with, learners who experienced more fields in several areas tend to have open minds
where
Correct word choice
when
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 they get exposed
by
Change preposition
to
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 all
those
Correct determiner usage
that
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 knowledge.
This
 phenomenon is
benefecial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for many learners as it will push them to be explorers and enrich their studying journey.
For instance
, communication science
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
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 in many universities allow the
students
 to learn not only about human interaction and its behaviour, but
also
 give them materials about law, psychology, and media which can support their main subject.
Hence
, I see that
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
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 aspect of materials
are
Change the verb form
is
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 needed to acknowledge the
students
 in order to motivate them
on trying
Change preposition
to try
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 new
things
 and push them out
from
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of
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 their comfort zones.
However
, many
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apply
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of
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apply
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individuals
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
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 to choose
smaller
Add an article
the smaller
a smaller
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 of
subjects
 so they can focus on what they prioritize the most.
This
 is because
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of people find that it is better to be
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
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 in specific aspects, compared with learning
on
Change preposition
apply
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many
things
 that mostly only make them have decent skills in each stuff.
For example
, engineering
students
 are highly educated in
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
as well as
 electricity as those two topics are the only
things
 that are relevant for their study, in contradictory with theatre kids
where
Correct word choice
who
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to be exposed
in
Change preposition
to
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 several
subjects
 that are related
with
Change preposition
to
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 the characters they play in. I believe that to dive in more into specific
subjects
 can
be
Verb problem
make it
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 easier to improve their understanding and better
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practical experience which will be great for their future careers.
To sum up
, neither of the motions
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
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each
Correct determiner usage
the
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others
Change to a singular noun
other
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. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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all depends on
students
' choices on deciding to have
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
 understanding by learning the materials from many perspectives or learning the exact
subjects
 so they can be more expert
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 areas.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, which is then developed with specific examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring paragraphs effectively, with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that develop the main point.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay. This includes linking phrases, synonyms, and reference words.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points, rather than hypothetical or general statements.
task achievement
Balance your essay by spending equal time on each viewpoint and your own opinion to ensure a fully developed response.
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