Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternatives sources. Discuss both views and give own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
While
a faction of people hold the notion that government
should provide financial aide
to Correct your spelling
aid
artists
, others argue that it
it is a misuse of public resources. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
essay will delve into both viewpoints with relevant illustrations and explain my support
for the former view.
There is no doubt that government
have Correct article usage
the government
responsibility
Correct article usage
a responsibility
for providing
basic needs for Change preposition
to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. In other words
, the authority should focus on infrastructure development and education for children rather than providing financial support
for artists
. In addition
, there are often arguement
that Correct your spelling
argument
arguments
artists
should work for their living expenses rather than asking support
Change preposition
for support
for
the Change preposition
from
government
. As a result
, they can work for their passion in out
of working hours and Change preposition
outside
Change preposition
at weekend
weekend
. Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
Although
the
Correct article usage
apply
artists
should be financially indipendent
, I believe that the Correct your spelling
independent
government
should provide necessary
Add an article
the necessary
support
to artists
when ever
they Correct your spelling
whenever
need
.
Correct pronoun usage
need it
Nevertheless
, the authority have
Change the verb form
has
responsibility
to protect Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
art
and Correct article usage
the art
culture
of the society
. For example
, Australian
Add an article
the Australian
government
spent 50 million dollars to protect the tribal art and culture
which is widly
appreciated. Correct your spelling
widely
wildly
Moreover
, the
Correct article usage
apply
artists
are important
part of the development of Add an article
an important
culture
which should pass
to Wrong verb form
be passed on
next
generation. Correct article usage
the next
In other words
, artists
have an important role to maintain
the Change preposition
in maintaining
harmoney
of Correct your spelling
harmony
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and they have immense
influence on the young Add an article
an immense
one
. Correct pronoun usage
ones
For example
, the government funded
movie against the Add a hyphen
government-funded
wild fire
reduces the Correct your spelling
wildfire
man made
Add a hyphen
man-made
Add an article
a wild
wild fire
Correct your spelling
wildfire
in
a significant percentage.
In conclusion, Change preposition
by
Although
government
have Add an article
the government
responsibility
Correct article usage
a responsibility
for
provide basic Change preposition
to
need
for the Fix the agreement mistake
needs
citizen
, the Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
artist
should be supported financially to survive the harmoney and Fix the agreement mistake
artists
culture
in society
. In my view artist
are Fix the agreement mistake
artists
vital
part of our Add an article
a vital
society
.Submitted by ck.manshad on
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grammar/spelling
Be careful with your grammar and spelling. In your introduction, 'aide' should be 'aid', and 'arguement' should be 'argument'. Ensuring that you accurately spell words will lead to a higher score.
idea development
Ensure that you develop your ideas fully. For instance, when mentioning that artists should work for their living expenses, expand on this idea by providing an example or explaining why this might be an expectation.
sentence clarity
Make sure all sentences are complete and clearly structured. The sentence 'In addition, there are often arguement that artists should work for their living expenses rather than asking support for the government.' could be rephrased for clarity.
sentence variety
Use a range of sentence structures to showcase your English language ability. The use of complex sentences and a variety of conjunctions can help to improve your score.
conclusion
Try to provide a more in-depth conclusion that summarizes the main points of the essay and clearly states your position.
tone and task response
Remember to maintain a neutral tone throughout your essay and address the task by discussing both points of view and giving your own opinion.
coherence
Link your ideas more effectively by using cohesive devices such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'for instance'. This will make your argument more coherent.
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