More and more people are leaving countryside to live in cities. Do more advantages or disadvantages of this development for environment

In
this
rapid development
that is
centralized in big cities, people who live in rural areas start to settle in metropolises to seek bigger opportunities. I believe
this
condition brings detrimental effects to our natural environment because it reduces green areas and contributes to global warming.
To begin
with, urbanization leads to deforestation. Since countryside people have moved to big cities, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasing demand for residential districts. The high demand for housing encourages developers to expand house construction and cut down trees to turn them into several urban districts.
For example
, there are some articles that say that in a mere decade, the expansion of urban areas in Indonesia has
destructed
Verb problem
destroyed
show examples
thousands of acres of wilds. Another important point to consider is, that rapid urban growth contributes to global warming. To elaborate, an increasing number of gasoline cars release harmful by-products,
such
as carbon monoxide, into our atmosphere and produce greenhouse which warms the earth's atmosphere by absorbing sunlight. In fact, vehicle emissions are not alone. There are several primary sources of human-made air pollution
such
as fuel oils and natural gas to heat homes, by-products of manufacturing and power generation, particularly coal-fueled power plants that
also
contribute to warming the earth. In conclusion, as the rural-to-urban shift becomes more popular, I believe it negatively impacts the environment by increasing deforestation and producing gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
which leads to global warming.
Submitted by hiitsmeee on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear position is presented throughout the essay and avoid any ambiguity regarding the standpoint on the advantages or disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the essay's flow and clarity, as they can help connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your main points, which will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • ecosystems
  • economies of scale
  • public transportation
  • reforestation
  • rewilding
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • waste production
  • habitat destruction
  • fragmentation
  • traditional agricultural practices
  • sustainable
  • recycling
  • waste management
  • heat islands
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • rural-to-urban shift
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