The news media have to much influence on people's lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

#news #media #influence #people #lives #development

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Nowadays, the

news

media

influence an individual's life a lot because of having a negative mentality which develops distraction. It is agreed that

this

matter will change the way

people

live in the current scenario;

firstly

, the

news

media

provides the platform where

people

get all the updates about the

weather

forecast and other

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

crime rates. There are various ways that the latest

news

media

changes the lifestyle of

people

where they tense about the

weather

changes often.

This

is why

people

now better prepare to organise the plan

according to

the day of

weather

For example

, there are many who need vitamin D which comes from the sun and is difficult to have in the winter season.

Hence

, it is crystal clear that it is essential to have a platform of

media

which emits the

news

in day-to-day life.

Furthermore

, it is

also

crucial to be aware of the crime rates, which are

also

regularly updated with the

news

of the

media

This

is because all person can easily move around to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their duties and responsibilities to their families

therefore

, they can feel secure enough to live in the country with the guidance of the

media

For instance

, many countries facing a war situation and other developed countries have been serving the basic necessary products and food to the needy by reaching the

media

factors.

Thus

, the

news

media

is a medium where all

people

gather all information where they cannot be reached. In conclusion, it is obvious that television

news

can be useful to all

people

to protect their relatives and families by updating themselves. Specifically, crime violation and

weather

forecasts would be better arguments which support well.

Submitted by patelhardik2199 on Fri Jan 19 2024

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task achievement

Your essay lacks a clear position throughout, as the prompt asks you to discuss the influence of news media and whether it is a negative development. Make sure to directly answer the question and maintain a consistent position on the issue.

task achievement

Your main points should be supported with more specific examples and explanations to effectively demonstrate and strengthen your argument. Aim to include relevant and detailed illustrations for each main point you make.

coherence cohesion

The essay structure needs improvement. There should be a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, with each paragraph serving a distinct purpose. Make sure your introduction introduces the topic and clearly states your position, and your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your position.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to help with the logical flow of ideas. This includes transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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The news media have to much influence on people's lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of spesific come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Employers should give their workers at least one month’s holiday a year, as it makes them better at their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.