There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This
essay discusses my opinion on the statement that nowadays young people
get a lot of pressure to be successful in academics resulting in some people
believing that non-academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus of their study
. From a personal point of view, I strongly disagree with the statement and here I will elaborate on the reason in some detail.
Young people
have to learn many things to be able to survive their adulthood which requires a lot of skills such
as finding a good job, preparing food for themselves or their family, travelling to many different places with different local customs, staying healthy, working in a team, negotiating with people
with contrast perspective, dealing with bureaucracy, managing their finance and many more. The list is actually quite long arguably. And these all are things that they eventually need to understand and solve in their future life. So non-academic subjects such
as physical education, cookery, and organisational-related soft skills are really necessary.
From personal experience during high school, I witnessed some students who were only focused on academic subjects throughout their entire study
because they had to pass the national exams and were limited by school regulations to do other extracurricular activities. Those students, when now they eventually reach adulthood, are struggling to manage the reality of adulthood.
But on the other hand
, I also
understand that it is really not a simple task to program a suitable study
plan which will fit all ranges of student's personalities and their future aspirations.
So in a nutshell, I personally disagree with the statement that young people
only need to concentrate on academic work and have no need to get any experience at all from extracurricular activities which are not linked to any academic subject. I believe that they will benefit from those. But of course, a suitable study
plan must be programmed for them so they will not be too tired to study
after all.Submitted by mutiaraardian56 on
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Introduction
Make sure your introduction more clearly outlines your main argument and thesis. This will help the reader understand your stance from the very beginning.
Coherence
Work on clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to establish the main point that will be discussed.
Examples
Provide more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Try to include real-world scenarios or data if possible.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, reiterate your thesis to reinforce your argument and summarize the main points made in the essay.
Linking
Ensure that the essay flows well from one idea to another. Using a range of linking words and phrases can help improve cohesion.
Task Response
Remember that the task requires you to address to what extent you agree or disagree. Be clear and explicit about the degree to which you support or refute the statement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.